Underachievers Anonymous

[moongirlk]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "naamagatus" <naama_gat at h...> wrote:
> --- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Mary Jennings" <macloudt at h...> wrote:
> > 
> > To this I want to add those people who drop friends who are new 
> parents because all that baby talk is *so* boring.  When I was once 
> told this, I reminded this girl that hearing about her brain-dead 
job 
> and her sexual exploits tended to put me in a trance as well.  That 
> shut her up quickly.  I also never heard from her again...can't 
think 
> why...
> > 
> 
> As a single girl with a brain-dead job (no sexual exploits worth 
> detailing, though <sigh>) I had to jump in here.
> I've never dropped friends because they became paretns, but... When 
> people become so obsessed there's just no talking with them about 
> ANYTHING else, it can get pretty depressing. It can also become 
quite 
> hurtful. <snip examples>

In the same camp, Nama.  The single girl gets dumped at least as 
often as vice versa, and not just when couples have kids.  I've had 
more than one friend invite me to their wedding, even ask me to be a 
part of the wedding party, come to (and even help host) showers and 
rehearsal dinners, buy dresses, etc. and then never hear from them 
beyond a thank-you note once the wedding's over.  If I call them, 
it's always "we should get together sometime, but I'm so busy 
lately..." and then no call-back, ever, until the next time I check 
in with them.  Granted, that's just a few people, but then when the 
others start having kids, more disappear, because, you know, a single 
girl can't possibly understand, I guess.  

And the friends that don't go that way, still sometimes make me feel 
like a subspecies.  It's completely unintentional, I realize, but how 
often can you hear somebody ask why you're not in a relationship 
before you start to feel like there's something wrong with you?  

Maybe it's Bridget Jones complex, but didn't you know it's the poor 
single girl who's the underachiever?  Can't get her act together and 
find a man, you know.  Tragic really, if she'd just do something 
about that hair/make a little effort/let me set her up/*take my 
advice*...  You see where I'm going.  Even Bridget had to have the 
love of the man before she got to be happy, so there you are.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant, but I just thought I'd toss out the other 
side of Mary's coin.  Sometimes the dropping goes both ways, and 
sometimes the single friends drift off to avoid the shame of being 
such failures.

kimberly,
who's not nearly as bitter as she sounds - honest!