Completing the blurb

[Amy Z]

Heidi wrote, on -Announcements:

> JKR has provided a teaser -- 93 random words on a
> card that is up for
> auction next month at Sotheby's in London. The sale
> is for Book Aid
> International, which provides books for developing
> countries.  
> 
> Sotheby's Wednesday offered a short sample of what
> the lucky winner will
> get on the autographed Rowling card. 
> 
> "Thirty-eight chapters ... might change ... longest
> volume ... Ron ...
> broom ... sacked ... house-elf ... new teacher ...
> dies ... sorry," 

ROTFL!  Oh, that Jo is such a tease.  But we're so
pathetic that tidbits like this are as an eight-course
meal to a starving man.  Let's have some fun with it!

THIRTY-EIGHT CHAPTERS so far, but I have fourteen more
to write.  Expect a 2005 release date.  Harry MIGHT
CHANGE over to Hufflepuff.  Hermione sets out to read
the LONGEST VOLUME of Hogwarts: A History and, as a
consequence, spends all of Order of the Phoenix holed
up in the library and has no dialogue whatsoever. 
RON, in a fit of misplaced jealously, steals Harry's
BROOM and goes joyriding around the continent, where
he finally meets up with Hagrid, who has been SACKED
for having a platonic but intense love affair with a
HOUSE-ELF.  The NEW TEACHER, Fleur, DIES in Harry's
arms after diving into a tank of thirty grindylows to
prove herself to Snape.  SORRY, that's all I'm saying
for now."

No?  Okay, the calculated-to-break-my-heart version:

"It's currently THIRTY-EIGHT chapters, but that MIGHT
CHANGE if I go with my best impulse and cut it down to
12--I swore on a stack of Bibles that Goblet of Fire
would remain the LONGEST VOLUME.  RON goes evil, gets
a lot of payoff money from Voldemort, and buys a
better BROOM than Harry's and a spot as the Gryffindor
Keeper and captain.  Dumbledore, of course, gets
SACKED before the book even opens.  A resentful
HOUSE-ELF, terrified at the prospect of a House-Elf
Union, tells Rita Skeeter, the NEW TEACHER, that
Hermione is guilty of elf abuse, causing no end of
trouble.  Oh yeah, and Lupin DIES.  

"SORRY, 

"Jo."

Amy Z


Nimbus is coming!  Visit <http://www.hp2003.org/>
http://www.hp2003.org for more information. 

=====
In fall their brightened leaves, released,
fly down the wind, and we are pleased
to walk on radiance, amazed.
O light come down to earth, be praised.
            --Wendell Berry, "Great Trees"

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