14-year-old Musings of H/H

[Zephyrjaid at aol.com]

I'm a fourteen-year-old H/H shipper with several male friends and a deep connection with Hermione - thought you might want to hear what I think about her relationships with both Ron and Harry. :)

Hermione is a slightly exaggerated version of me. I spent eight years of my life as an only child and loved every minute of it - I was treated as the third adult in my family, which basically shaped who I am today. My mother stayed at home and my father traveled constantly, but when he was home, he was my brief peek at childhood. I had exquisite manners, an obsession with books (I adolized Lewis Carroll in third grade), and I dressed like a doll. Fine restaurants were - and still are - my favorite pastime. I hated television except for films - especially cartoons - and spent most of my time drawing and reading. Obviously, I was a weird child...mature, mature, mature. 

Many of my best friends through childhood have been male, mainly because I like films like The Matrix and Braveheart, which most all of the girls I know despise. I listen to punk music, read gory books, hate fawning and giggling and mindless crushes. Though I was the complete opposite of a tomboy - a total girly-girl in the sense that I adore clothes and hate sports - I related to boys on a much deeper level than with girls. And still do, really. 

My first crush was Leonardo DiCaprio when I was nine - Gilderoy Lockhart, say. As Hermione's passion is literature, mine is film. Lockhart (or so Hermione thought) was a brilliant author and presumably brought depth and realism to his books; I thought (and still think, BTW) that Leonardo DiCaprio was a brilliant actor and brought depth and realism to his roles. I admit that the crush was a tad ridiculous, but it gave me a focus and I learned about attraction and looking at males in a non-platonic way. I think Hermione experienced the same thing with Lockhart. 

After the crush subsided, I started wondering what it would be like to date my best friends - Shane and Josh. At the time, I really wasn't ready for dating, but it was interesting to think about. Now, I've always liked older guys who've accomplished a lot in their lifetime (Krum, anyone?) and I think that stems from the fact that, by nature, older men are more mature and have had an opportunity to really discover their inner selves. I like having someone I can talk to about difficult issues and even teenage boys can be considered teenyboppers without real conversational skills (unless it involves the latest band, I suppose.) It seems to me like Harry would accomplish more with his life than Ron because of his worldly outlook, but that's just me. If I put myself Hermione's shoes - and if I'm correct thinking that she likes the older Krum because of his more adult-like lifestyle and attitude - then Harry would have the ability and knowledge to offer to Hermione what Krum does. Hermione needs an equal.

Shane and Josh are a lot like Harry and Ron, as they love Lacrosse (or Quidditch), are on top of their schoolwork but aren't terribly worried about it, and they have me for a best friend. ;) I associate Shane with Harry. (Never mind the fact that he has green eyes and black hair.) He's an active Lacrosse player, he's a bit more serious and reserved than Josh, his sense of humor is quite morbid, and he has more of an interest in his surroundings. Josh, on the other hand, is a nutball. He's wisecracking and independent and couldn't sit still if someone nailed him to the floor. They're both quite loveable. I've always had more of a connection with Shane because he acts older than his years but still has a fun spirit. We talk about a more diverse range of topics and basically have the same outlook on life. But Josh is completely my protector and isn't afraid to say whatever he wants to someone who dislikes me. He's like Draco in a sense because he has money and thinks he owns everything, but he's fiercely loyal. Shane is the heartthrob; Josh is the epitome of popular. 

Obviously, both of them would be good contenders for boyfriends. Josh is a sweetheart and adores me (though God forbid he show it) and he has respect for people. I like that a lot, and could see myself dating him and having a nice romantic relationship because we do have things in common - even if they're completely obscure and not obvious. I feel like Hermione has a similar relationship with Ron, as they seem to have an *ahem* honest companionship and are comfortable enough to disagree without worrying about the consequences of opposing one another rather vehemently. 

If Josh were to suddenly start to show signs of liking me romantically, to be honest, I'd be very torn. I associate Shane and Josh with one whole - they're both my best friends. I'd feel like I was betraying one (namely Shane) for being the object of Josh's affection, but I'd also feel a great sense of flattery and giddyness, mainly because in my whacked mind, there are three levels on a padestal: low, medium and high. Low is respect, medium is friendship, and high is attraction. It would be completely amazing to be pushed up on the pedestal. I'd also be extremely possessive of Josh because I've always been deeply in tune with my own crushes and I would want Josh pay attention to no one but me, as I would with my own crush. Does that make sense? This is kind of how I see Hermione feeling about Ron. 

Onto the Shane-Harry thoughts. We have somewhat of a telepathic connection. We're both quiet (can you tell? *wink*) and we plan on going to the same university in Britain. Sometimes, we don't even have to talk and I feel like people know we're best friends just by the way we walk together.  He's a year older than I am and definitely edgier, but we're two feathers in the same wand. I can completely see myself marrying him one day - we already plan on living together - but it's really scary to think that, mainly because we *would* have a potentially successful relationship and could tolerate the practical issues of marriage (like living together). I don't see us having a romantic relationship in reality, but since that's the topic, I'd say he's the one I'd have a lasting relationship with.  

So it's really choosing between what's easy and what's right...Josh-Ron, the one that would severely get on my nerves but I'd have fun with for a while...or Shane-Harry, who's my hypothetical soul mate. (Keep in mind that soul mates come with extra soul-searching and difficulties in the package, but they last a lot longer than your normal run-of-the-mill 'product'.)

So...that's my fourteen-year-old point of view seen through Hermione's eyes somewhat. :) Hope all of that sounded rational. It makes sense to me, but I do have a very *interesting* way of looking at things.

Liz