moved from Main List: on not having children

[linlou43]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Cindy C." <cindysphynx at c...> 
wrote:
> Kirstini wrote (about whether to have kids):
> 
> > I wonder, does one reach a point where the choice becomes clear? 
> >or does everything simply muddy up further? 

Cindy replid: 

> And as for the decision to have children at all, I admit that this 
> is a toughie.  It is certainly true that someone (like me) who 
> doesn't like OPCs ("Other People's Children") can fall in love with 
> their own, but you never know until you try.  
> 
> I guess it is like deciding whether to marry someone.  You just 
look 
> around, grimace, and settle for the best you can get . . . .
> 
> No?  :-D
> 
> Long story short:  When you're ready, you just know.

 linlou:

     Just wanted to add my own perspective here. I was married and 
had my first child at nineteen. Had my second at twenty-one.(That's 
it, I'm done.) The comments I hear all the time are along the lines 
of "Why did you have kids so young? You missed out on enjoying being 
young." Comments like these, from the point of view of my personal 
choice, are absolute rubbish. I usually reply with something along 
the lines of "What did I miss out on, exactly, that I can't still 
do?" I'll only be forty when my youngest graduates from high school. 
I have plenty of time to enjoy my life and I'll even be young enough 
to really enjoy my grandkids once they come along. (Though that 
better not be for a while yet as my kids are only 13 and 10 
respectively :) ) I guess the point I'm trying to make is that the 
criticisms aren't reserved for the women who decide not to have 
children but for anyone who does not have kids with-in the age range 
that society has decided to dictate as well. It really is two sides 
of the same coin where the coin should really be melted down and made 
into nice shiny buttons or something.

      -linlou,who wishes she could think of something better to make 
than buttons