moved from Main List: on not having children

[Cindy C.]

Kirstini wrote (about whether to have kids):

> I wonder, does one reach a point where the choice becomes clear? 
>or does everything simply muddy up further? 

Well, I have a philosophy about this.

There is *never* a good time to have children.  Really.  It would be 
easier to manage it all if children were like a loaf of bread and 
appeared the instant you wished to have them.  No, you've got that 9-
month time lag to consider.

Professionally, there's not a good time, either.  If you are just 
starting out, it will be hard to get any traction and compete with 
your childless rivals.  If you wait until you have established 
yourself, then it is hard to give up what you have achieved (your 
client base, your caseload, etc.).  

So that led me to just figured I'd have kids on a timetable that 
made sense for us -- might as well just have as many as you want 
with the spacing you want and let the chips fall where they may.

And as for the decision to have children at all, I admit that this 
is a toughie.  It is certainly true that someone (like me) who 
doesn't like OPCs ("Other People's Children") can fall in love with 
their own, but you never know until you try.  

I guess it is like deciding whether to marry someone.  You just look 
around, grimace, and settle for the best you can get . . . .

No?  :-D

Long story short:  When you're ready, you just know.

Cindy