Bertie Beans, question from a regional group.

[cathubodva_raven <wedgeaholic@icqmail.com>]

Before moving on to Lisa(for whom I feel compelled to find a 
nickname)'s question,  I fell I have to clear up the facts for Ken.

> Don't kid yourself ... candy is candy. Whether lemon drop or vomit 
> flavor, watermellon or dirt, cinnamon or grass, tuti-fruit or 
> sardine, it's still sugar.

Yes, Ken, we Muggles can go into Coles, or Woolworths (for us in 
AUSTRALIA, anyway.  Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!) and buy a packet 
of Bertie Bott's every flavour beans.

Now I'm going to let you in on a big secret - they're not the REAL 
Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.  I know, because I've tried them.  
They taste like jellybeans that have overdosed on food colouring.  
This doesn't match with JKR's description of them at all.

The conclusion: the product sold to us is not the real thing.  Which 
stands to reason, and Bertie's WW product is *enchanted* to taste 
like other things (you don't think they use *real* vomit, do you?).  
We've been deceived with a Muggle version of the WW equivalent.

All clear now?  :-) 
(Please don't make me bring up the 'fags' argument.)

> >  The scary and unavoidable conclusion I have half-formed:
> >  Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans are a health food based scam 
> >  to subvert the Wizarding World away from their healthy 
> >  carnivourism to a diet of pure soya based protein.

Lucius?  Why yes, it does seem the sort of thing that he would have a 
hand in.  (I suspect his 'donations' to St Mungo's buy drugs to keep 
his political enemies doped up to their eyeballs)  But what about the 
House-Elves?  By all accounts, they're very good cooks, and being a 
good cook is as much theory as it is practice.  Are they aware of 
this diabolical plot?  Is that why they serve such heavy, animal-
based foods as black pudding?

Or - are they unwitting pawns?  Serving the same dishes they have 
served for generations, unaware that (maybe) the tastes of young 
people are changing?

Or are the House-Elves Ever So Evil?  Deliberately serving offal, 
haggis etc to drive the students forward into Lucius' Vegetarian 
Nightmare?

Okay, maybe I haven't taken this seriously enough, but it's difficult 
to be serious when Snape the Smartie is sititng on your computer.  
(He scowled at you Lisa, he must be feeling particularly friendly 
today.)

And I agree with you, by the way, there probably wouldn't be much 
response to this question on the HPfGU Australia list.  But wouldn't 
it be nice if more Australians (Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi) came 
out of the woodwork, then we could.  ;-)

Cathubodva.