The four loves

[Amy Z <lupinesque@yahoo.com>]

Tabouli wrote:

> OK.  We have philos, the love of friendship.  We have eros, sexual 
love.  Erm, run the other two by me again?  

Agape and storge, which correspond, IIRC, to love of God and love of 
a parent toward a child.

I agree that men suffer from having few approved forms of intimacy, 
but I'm not sure about the connection to the suicide rate.  By other 
measures, e.g. depression, women are worse off emotionally than men.  

> Then there's the "sexual relationships are the aim of life and most 
exciting thing in it" message, which has eight year old girls in 
lipstick and crop tops.  Don't even get me started on that one.

Oh, can't we, please?

>it takes *time* to build up and maintain the sort of mutual trust 
>and respect and intimacy you need for a deep connection with another 
>person.  I wonder if part of the problem is that most adults' lives 
>just don't have the time for this level of contact with more than 
>one new person 

Or we don't take the time.  

A sociological factor in the U.S. is that we are very mobile over a 
very wide stretch of continent.  Many Americans still live and die in 
a single small town, but millions of us pick up and go for education, 
work, or to marry someone from far away (since we meet them when we 
go thousands of miles for school or work).  Much has been written 
about how this may make us shy of creating deep friendships, 
community connections, etc.  I think to some extent it is true.  

Amy