The Four Loves

[Melody <Malady579@hotmail.com>]

Anne wrote:
> I believe your sense of what the four loves are is close but can be
> defined a little more closely.  Look back at your previous post
>where you looked up agape -- it was defined as "Christian love."  So
>agape would be the love of God.  A person with agape would have love
>for God and, by extension, for his people.  Mother Theresa's love for
>the people of Calcutta is was agape love.  So is God's love for us.

I think I am starting to unravel my confusion.  See - in my wrong view
of things, God's love is more like Storge.  It is a parent's love.  So
when that love was introduced to me (about two weeks ago), I got
confused.  You know: God the Father and all.  Plus to add to the fun,
I got confused because if you say God's love is agape, well in
Christian eyes that love will die for you.

Now I guess I see what the idea of agape really is.  Is it a love
bestowed on a people because of their condition or rather their
choice?  Is it, roughly, sympathetic love?  A love of a person because
they are in a bracket?  Oh, that does not sound very romantic at all.
 If you look at it from the definition perspective of "Christian
love", in the light of the newbie first century Christian church where
this word would have been used daily, it is a bond between people that
is deeper that emotion.  It is a union of purpose really and a visible
word to say I would die for this person/belief.

I think I do need to read CS Lewis' book for clarification.  I am
surprised I have not been introduced to it before.  My mom loves to
recommend books like that.


Anne wrote:
> Well...I think rather that it is possible to love a friend with both
> philos and agape and your child with both storge and agape.  On the
> other hand, someone who does not believe in God could still die for
> someone out of philos or storge alone --

Can only Christians feel agape?  Seems agape could apply to any
religion or even any cause.  It is used to describe God's love because
that is where the use of the word first started, back to the love in
John 3:16, but I would think the general meaning of the word would
cross apply.


Anne disagreed:
> Well, here I will disagree.  Eros is a form of love.  Lust, on the
> other hand, is merely wanting sex and has nothing to do with love or
> actually caring for the other person.  True eros is *partly*
> expressed in sexual union as well as in other ways of caring, and
> you can have eros, philos and agape for the same person.  And, yes,
> I think someone could certainly die for someone out of eros alone.

And now I see what I did.  I used the modern day word "erotic" to
deduce what "eros" means.  I am sorry.  I completely agree with you.
A person *can* have agape, eros, and philo on the same person.  In
fact, I think that is what many people dream of.  To have the person
you marry be the one person you can amass all these loves in one
place.  I do think "storge" is the one odd love out as it should be.
Woody Allen aside, it is not acceptable in our society to have four
loves in one person.


Tabouli asked:
>(Hmmm. How often do people do such radical things under the influence
>of one of the other three loves? Any thoughts?)

Well we have Cindy's Lily storge HP point.  Giving a life is radical
even if it is a bit trite to our ears.  I have heard of stories of
mothers lifting refrigerators and cars off or children when they are
caught because they had to save their child.  Kind of a mix of
adrenaline and storge.  Also a parent would send their child away from
danger before they will send themselves.  Like in Two Towers or during
WWII.  I think that is why the movie "Sophie's Choice" is so hard to
watch.  She had to make a cruel impossible decision of which storge
child to choose.

Philo is harder.  Mostly because out of all the loves, this one seems
to be seen in the most degrees.  Almost the "I like" love.  We do have
war stories of soldiers going back into the battlefield to find their
best friend soldier.  Isn't that the plot of "The Four Feathers"?  Did
not see it, but the trailer hinted at that.

Agape.  I think of all those martyrs.  All through the ages.  The
Buddhist monks that set themselves on fire.  People that will
willingly be captured and tortured all because they won't denounce.
Or if you rather, people that have gone underground and started almost
their own culture to get away from the persecution from their agape.

If I have the definition right this time, then many radical things
have been done in the name of agape.  America was founded on this
fact.  It would be like us traveling to Mars and starting a colony
because we were being persecuted for loving HP the way we do.  Ok, ok,
a bit of a stretch there, but I hope you see my point.

So then, with the new light of what eros in fact is (sorry I confused
it from before), I do think many radical things have been done in the
name of it.  So I second all Tabouli said.  I know - big shock there.


Melody
who is surprised to see it is finally snowing today in her part of Texas