The Four Loves

[charisjulia <charisjulia@hotmail.com>]

This is a bit late (aren't I always?), but as it's mainly factual 
information I thought I'd send it anyway.


Wendy wrote:
>So. Instead, I'm just going to ask a question: Will someone with 
better 
>knowledge of the Greek language than I have (which means probably 
everyone 
><g>) please post pronunciations for the Four Loves? Well, I can 
guess at a 
>couple of them, but storge and agape have really left me 
wondering. :-)

Well, if what you're asking for is the Erasmian accent I'm afraid I'm 
not going to be much use to you never really having studied Greek 
from a foreign point of view. I can make a stab, however, at 
attempting to explain the modern Greek pronunciation if that's any 
help. And I've added some etymological tit—bits and common contextual 
phrases as well just in case anybody's interested. Melody is just 
going to hate me for this. I'm not entirely sure that it's going to 
help resolve her ponderings on the four loves * at all* :--) If 
there's one view it forwards it's that all four loves are 
inextricably intertwined with each other...


Eros: "e" as in "elephant" and not, say, "era". The modern Greek 
retains the ending of the other cases even in the nominative and 
therefore is "erotas". Eros is the Greek name for Cupid, the winged 
god of love. The verd is "erotevomai", eg "to fall in love". Even 
though the one is derived from the other the feeling the word gives 
is a very far cry from those an English speaker would associate with 
the word "erotic". Eros is a romantic word. "Erotiki eksomologese" is 
a confession of eros, "erotiko gramma" a letter about eros, a love 
letter. And interestingly enough platonic love is also an 
eros: "platonikos erotas". The phrase "kanw erota" (literally "I do 
eros") is the romantic way to refer to sex; the equivalent of the 
English "to make love". So even though the word definitely has very 
strong sexual connotations, it mustn't be confused with lust or 
desire (that would be "epithemia" of "pothos") It's a love, a 
passion, a "pathos" and you feel it in your brest, not your loins. 
One of the most famous quotations about eros is 
from "Antigone": "Eros anikate maxan..." Eros against whom none can 
fight. . . Or Zenodotos' "A Statue or Eros": 
"Who carved Love
and placed him by
this fountain,
thinking
he could control
such fire
with water?"


Philia: (You will forgive me, won't you, if I just indulge a minute 
in a spot of deranged nitpickiness? Unless there's some weird English 
thing going on here that I don't know about, it is fil*ia* and not 
fil*os*. A filos is a male friend. It refers to a person, not a 
feeling or concept. ) 
Pronounciation: as you read it; the "i"s as in "immaterial" . Simply 
means friendship, really. Buuuut... the verb is "philw" (I'm using 
the w here instead of an omega. Sounds like an "o") which means to 
kiss. In any way. And "phili" means "a kiss". Of any kind. And then, 
well, there are words like "philomousos" which are quite innocent 
(=a  friend of the muses, the arts) and words like "paedophile" which 
are not. And * then* there's words like "Philip", the friend of 
horses... But lets not go there, shall we? ;-)


Storge: the "e" at the end (and I'd say this goes for the Erasmian 
accent too) is not silent. It is pronounced and sounds like the 
first "e" in "electricity". 
As Simon pointed out this means "affection". Derived from the 
verb "stergw". It is generally something you show rather than feel, 
I'd say. You kiss someone with stoge, you smile at them with stroge, 
you caress them with stroge. If you feel it you generally do so while 
doing something of the above rather than all the time. And as Simon 
pointed out this love is compatible with all the others. 


Agape: <deep intake of breath> How is it pronounced? Oooh, tough one
 
Again the "e" audible and like in "electricity". The "a"s sound like 
the "a" in "anatomy". And in an a english context that should be 
enough really ... in actual Greek of course there's the problem of 
the "g" which isn't in fact a "g" at all but a "gama", the third 
letter of the Greek alphabet and which sounds like... er... it sounds 
like... well, basically like no sound I've ever come across in 
English. Sorry. Maybe if you try gurgling something? Or growling, 
yes, that might work... It's a very guttural sound. If you say it 
loud enough you can feel it reverberating against the back of your 
palette. 

Anyway, agape... Verb is "agapw", "I love". And basically it can 
refer to love of any type. Agape is the word used in the Greek 
version in Corinthians I 13. "Agapetos/e" or agapemenos/e" mean loved 
one, beloved and are usually used to begin letters. If you were 
engaging in one of those "erotikes eksomologeseis" what you'd say 
would probably be "S'agapw!" (I love you) and if you were cooing at a 
baby you'd be very likely to call it your "agape mou glukia!" (my 
sweet love). 


Of course the current meaning of the words in modern Greek is not 
necessarily the same as that which CS Lewis ascribed to them nor is 
their usage necessarily the same as it was in Pericles' Athens or the 
Bible. Just thought you might be interested.

Charis Julia