Off-Lists From HPfGU Members (WAS I Just Don't Get This. Seriously, I Don't/)

[Cindy C.]

Hi, all,

I've been drumming my fingers on my desktop for the last couple of
days, wondering if I should say anything more on this thread.  For
personal reasons, I have the nagging feeling that I should.  And I
think I can thread the needle here and make things better without
causing anyone any embarrassment or discomfort, so I'll have a go.

Sandy wrote:

> After an exchange of several emails, Cindy has now blocked my
>ability to communicate with her off-list (and suggested anything
>further I had to say be said here. 


Yeah, this is tricky.

My concern here is that I like and welcome off-list exchanges with
list members.  I love to send them, and I love to receive them,
especially via e-mail.  My very closest on-line friendships with
members of our community started as little off-list notes and
flourished from there.  

Indeed, I have discovered with pleasure that many people who are nice
and funny on-list are often a total kick in the pants off-list when
they feel they can let their hair down a bit.  Right now, I think I'm
juggling half-a-dozen off-list conversations with people -- concerning
such varied subjects as Zigried and Roy, sushi, the Episcopal church,
prescription medications, and parenting.  If it were a dozen
conversations, that would be twice as good, so far as I'm concerned.

That said, I have on very rare occasion felt uncomfortable with
off-list communication, either in instant messaging or in e-mail.  In
those circumstances (I think it has only happened twice at most), I
gently and politely ask that we confine our interaction to the public
forum in which it originated.  I never feel good about taking this
step, which is why I don't do it often.

I certainly don't mean to suggest that Sandy's message wasn't
appropriate or to criticize her on this list.  But I felt I should
comment here just to make absolutely certain no one gets the idea that
I am not receptive to off-list communication.  I am, I most definitely am.

Cindy