[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: "You're Just Selfish!" (WAS moved from Main List: on not having children)

[alex fox]

I know that it a long clip, but Eileen, some of us just aren't meant to have kids. I have a beautiful daughter, Dallas Lynn, whom I got rather unexpectedly, in a bad time of my life. I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids, and there she was! A lovely redheaded preemie. Her father commited suicide(a drug addict) a few months after she was born, and I couldn't care for her at the time. Fortunatly, she had her wonderful great-aunt and uncle to adopt her. They are the best! I get pics and updates, and she is first in her class, rides horses, plays piano, and reads constantly! She is sweet and kind, and I did the best thing I could do for her. She wouldn't HAVE any of that with me.I can barely get by. I hate it when people say "HOW could you give up your child?" I know that is not what you are saying. But I just had to say this. I did what was best for a child I never planned to have. I love her, and am so glad I had the spine to give her up.
 
Alex Fox

lucky_kari <lucky_kari at yahoo.ca> wrote:
. And I know what the cravings for children are. I've got
them. Real bad. I mean, I got wobbly feelings when it was announced
that J.K. Rowling's baby was born! I was shopping for my fall clothes
today, and I spent most of my time in the baby section cooing over
those sweet little outfits. Girls may be mystifying, but they are
adorable... 

On the other hand, I could very easily see myself not having children.
I could easily see myself not marrying too. 

Anyway, on to the question. Is it selfish not to have children? I
mean, selfish in a bad way.

Can I make myself very unpopular here by answering, "Yes. Very often,
it is."

You see, I cling to the rather old-fashioned view that we should
contribute to the world, not take from it. How we do that can be very
different, but many of the DINKs, I know, pleasant though they may be,
are drains, plain and simple. Not drains on society, just drains on
humanity. They are living for nothing, contributing nothing, giving
their lives for nothing. The sort of people who centre life on
theirselves, never reaching out to others. 

They don't have children because it would be a challenge. And they
don't like challenges in their cozey little world. In fact, unlike
Elkins, they rather would like children, since they're cute. They're
just too lazy to make the sacrifices it demands.

Eileen


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