HP merchandise - FF

[David]

Martha, whose cynicism is spurious yet strangely malleable, wrote:

> I mean, "wizard spoon"? From the name one might presume that the 
> spoon is significantly different from other spoons - perhaps you 
can 
> perform spells with it? - but no. It is just a spoon. Actually, I 
> tell a lie - the handle is all sort of knarled-looking, presumably 
to 
> look like a wand, although whether any self-respecting wizard or 
> witch would carry a wand with a spoon on the end is 
debatable. "Hey, 
> I like your new wand, Hermione!" "Thanks, Harry - and look, not 
only 
> can I use it to perform all manner of charms, hexes, curses and so 
> on, but it also has this useful spoon built into it. That way, if 
I'm 
> ever engaged in a duel with Death Eaters, say, and feel the need 
to 
> eat a pot of yoghurt, I can do so without having to go and get a 
> spoon from elsewhere!" and so on. Hmm.

No, no, no, it's for the use of wizards such as Arthur Weasley who 
need to move in Muggle circles without being detected.

Vernon Dursley: You wouldn't be some kind of freak, would you?
AW: Oh, no, this isn't a wand, it's just a spoon.  I like to keep a 
spoon with me at all times; I find it very useful.  I collect them, 
you know.
VD (suspiciously): It looks like a damned odd spoon to me.  Why is 
there a thread poking out of the end of it?
AW: That isn't a thread, that's a dragon's heartstring.  It helps 
with the, er, coordinated attitude control of the spoon if I'm, um, 
using it to eat while flying by broom, um, while I'm flying.
VD: I don't believe you - give me that!
AW: I'm warning you - I'm not afraid to use this spoon!
VD: Grrr..
*Bang*
AW: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to do that.  It never happened with the 
fork.

etc

David, who totally agrees with Joywitch