Tales from Child Support Agency

[Tracy Hunt]

junediamanti wrote:
> The Child Support Agency in the UK is the government agency 
> responsible for getting absent parents to pay for the upkeep of 
> their children.
> 
> The following are all replies that British women have put on Child 
> Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: 
> These are genuine excerpts from the forms:
>  
> 
> 01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was 
> fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the 
father 
> of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night. 
> 
> 02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I 
> was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. 
> I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at 
> the party if this helps. 
>  
> 03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was 
> conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected 
> sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so 
> good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can 
> you send me his phone number? Thanks. 
> 
> 04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He 
> drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the 
> door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this 
> area and see if he's had it replaced. 
> 
> 05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from 
the 
> Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he 
> is Christ risen again. 
>  
> 06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me 
> that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic 
> implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right 
> by you and right by the country. Please advise. 
> 
> 07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies 
> look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green 
Jacket. 
>  
> 08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with 
> him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? 
>  
> 09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro 
> Disney. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 
>  
> 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I 
> remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier 
in 
> the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than 
> going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained 
> unfertilised. 
>  
> 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after 
> all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made 
you 
> fart.   
> 
> Tasteless, but amusing.
> 
> June

now Tcy:

BWwwwaaaaaaaaaahaahahhaaaahhaaaa!  That is soooooo bad!  I love it!  
I just love the shallow end of the gene pool!  Helps me remember that 
I have NOTHING to complain about (nor do my kids, for that matter).

Tcy
(who expects to see some of those mothers written up on the Darwin 
Awards website in the future)