Lying - a cultural issue?

[Ali]

I watching a programme this week called "Child of our Time" which 
showed 3 year olds learning how to lie. The commentator, a famous 
Doctor presentator, said that this was a really important 
developmental issue as the average adult lies 3 times every day.

Adults were then shown lying to the commentator. He was wearing a 
ridiculous pair of glasses and a false nose, and asking people what 
they thought about them. Comments such as "very nice" of "different" 
abounded. The comment which fell closest to the mark 
was "astonishing" - they were, astonishingly stupid!

My point is that as a society we are *expected* to lie. I'm teaching 
my children to say thank you and make positive comments about 
presents which they don't like as to do otherwise would seem 
impolite.

I recall several threads concerning Harry's lies, with some listees 
implying that lying is almost always wrong, whereas I tend to think 
that "white" lies ie euphemisms, or lies designed to prevent hurt 
have their place and can be beneficial.

Now, I wonder how much of this is due to cultural bias? By way of 
example, children of a friend of mine are being brought up in 
America, and despite their British parentage, are to all intents and 
purposes, American. They are being taught to be much more open about 
what they feel, and much more direct in what they say. In such an 
environment, I can see that white lies would have much less of a 
place than ours and honesty would be more highly regarded.

I'm not trying to argue that the experience of one family shows what 
American culture is, anymore than the way that I'm bringing up my 
kids is necessariliy representative of my culture. But, I do wonder 
if British reserve is in fact based on a lie. Do we do more harm 
than good by saying that we like things when we don't? Are we 
allowing people to live their lives without knowing what others 
really think? Does this matter? Why does the majority of the British 
population eat sprouts at Christmas when hardly anybody likes them - 
is this tradition or politeness gone mad? Do Brits lie more than 
people in other more open cultures?

Ali