[HPFGU-OTChatter] You might be a Muggle if...

[Iggy McSnurd]

> From: Tracy Hunt 
> 
> While telling my hubby about the great "you might be a redneck
> wizard" jokes circulating - he said it might be fun to come up with
> some other jokes you'd expect to hear the wizards telling one another
> around the water cooler (so to speak).
> 
> So without further ado - I give you "You might be a muggle if..."
> 

*snip*

> 
> Tcy
> (who had to pause to wipe the tears from her eyes after reading CMC's
> additions to the redneck wizard list)
> 

Iggy here:

BTW, Tcy... Since you started this thread, it's your responsibility to
compile it into a master list.  (I can do it if you really don't have
the time, since I can just tack it on to my current list.)  I'm gonna
give the Redneck thread another week or two, then compile the master
list with what people have sent in so far.

Here's some of my contributions to "You might be a Muggle if..."  (Some
are better than others... *chuckle*)

Iggy McSnurd


... you think a "chaser" is a beer you drink after a shot of whiskey.

... you think "MoM" is short for "mommy."

... you think "Diagon Alley" is just something that goes off slantwise.

... you think "Knockturn Alley" is something that happens at night.

... you think a "quaffle" is something to pour maple syrup on.

... when you hear someone talking about "the Prophet", you ask if
they're referring to Nostradamus, or to Moses.

... you think "Gilderoy" is a new kind of fabric.

... you think that "Hagrid" means you've got a very ill tempered wife.

... you think that a "golden galleon" was a pirate ship on the Spanish
Main.

... you think a "bronze knute" is a breed of salamander.  ("newt")

... you think that "Herbology" is some odd study of guys named
"Herbert."

... you're southern and you think that "Tonks" is something you wear
swimming.  ("I got me a pair of them there swimmin' tonks for goin' ta
the lake.")

... you think that a "centaur" is 1/25th of a "quartar."

... you think that "Voldemort" is the German branch of "Wal-Mart."

... you think that "Lucius Malfoy" is the name of a famous drag queen.

... you think that "Mad-Eye Moody" is just another way of saying "that
time of the month."  ("Yeah, Bill, I think I'd better get outta the
house.  It's my wife's 'Mad-Eye Moody' time right now.")