[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: southern chatter

[Marita Jan]

Trust me, if someone says something negative followed by "bless her
heart," it's NOT meant sympathetically.  ("She can't help the way her mama
raised her.....bless her heart")  Adding the "bless her heart" just allows
the speaker to plead not-guilty to the insult.   And trust me, no one can
be as insulting as a southern woman with a kindhearted smile on her face. 
Most of the time, you're bleeding before you feel the blade!  Run....run
very fast.  

Iggy, I loved those Jeff Foxworthy'isms you quoted!  

Okay....back to Harry Potter!


--- Iggy McSnurd <CoyotesChild at charter.net> wrote:
> Iggy here:
> 
> Well, I've been living here in the South for just over 4 years now, and
> I've
> learned a few things -
> 
> 1:  Whenever someone says something that can be seen as a negative, and
> adds
> "bless his/her/their/your heart," it's seen as being ok to say since
> it's a
> sympathetic phrase.  (For example:  "Bless her heart, but she's so
> skinny
> she could get a tan through a picket fence..." is seen as a sympathetic
> way
> of saying that someone needs to eat more.  Whether or not it's actually
> MEANT like that is another story sometimes.)  On the other hand, if
> someone
> simply says "bless your/their/his/her heart" by itself without anythign
> else
> being said... then something's wrong with you.  (This was in full effect
> when I had to call the physician's referral service at the local
> hospital to
> get referred to 5 different doctors for 5 different things.  By the
> third
> referral, and the lady saying "Well bless your heart..." the first two
> referrals, on the third one I laughed and beat her to it by saying "I
> know,
> bless my heart."  The fun part was, one of the first doctors I asked for
> a
> referral to was a cardiologist.  *grin*)
> 
> 2:  I am a former English / Writing major, posessed of a large
> vocabulary
> and being rather articulate due to extensive focal/acting/speech
> training
> and my writing training.  But no matter how articulate you are, after
> less
> than a year down here you WILL find yourself using a LOT of what I refer
> to
> as "relaxed English."  This isn't the sloppy or ignorant mode of
> speaking
> that most people think all Southerners have, rather it's the more
> relaxed
> way of thinking about talking that says "if you can understand what I'm
> saying, what's the problem with how I say it?"  This is where those
> lovely
> southern words like "y'all" ("you all", but used both as a singular and
> a
> plural), "howsyermominem" ("How's your mom and them", a polite way of
> asking
> how the family is doing.), "d'jeetyet?" ("Did you eat yet?" Asking
> simply if
> someone has eaten lately, and often used as an invitation to join the
> speaker for a meal.), and "Yunt-to?" ("Do you want to?", a simple way of
> asking someone if they would like to do something.) come from.
>     You can be educated at Oxford University in England, majoring in
> Literature and Writing, and within a year of being down here, you WILL
> start
> to sound like a redneck.  (Although a strangely accented one.)
> 
> 3:  If you are male don't know about hunting (any kind that will bag you
> food or trophies... hunting mice in our house with a BB gun doesn't
> qualify), river, pond, or creek fishing (You know... anything where you
> have
> to wade in or us a bass boat), or cars and trucks (usually enough to
> repair
> most basic problems and a couple of advanced ones)... then you will
> never be
> considered a "good ol' boy", or even a Southerner.  You don't need to
> know
> about all of them, just one will do.  Of course, if you are proficient
> in
> all three, then you are akin' to a Southern version of God on Earth to
> other
> Southern men.  Barring knowing anything about these three things, then a
> couple of tours of duty in the military as a non-com of any sort will
> suffice.  (Unfortunately, I only know about literature, computers,
> psychology, philosophy, and comparative theology... but down here, I'm
> still
> seen as ignorant.)
> 
> 4:  Since I live in an apartment building that's right next to a cow
> pasture
> on one side, and the dumpster for the complex on the other (both about
> 15
> yards away on either side), we get swarms of flies in the house on
> occasion.
> Out of boredom, patience, and an odd whim, I discovered that it IS
> possible
> to vacuum flies off the windows with the hose attachment.  It helps, of
> course, if you know a bit about how flies detect danger... and, of
> course,
> it also helps if you're both bored and a little eccentric.
> 
> 5:  If a Southerner calls you a Yankee, and you're not from one of the
> "Union" states, they will listen to you explaining that you're not and
> accept it... if you're convincing enough.  (I've had a few people say
> "Yew
> shore do talk funni...Are yew a Yankee?" *sorry, that's the best thick
> Southern drawl I can write.*  My reply was "No, I'm not a Yankee, I'm
> from
> California, so I'm a Westerner.  We stayed out of the whole Civil War
> thing." They usually said "Oh, ok." and backed off.  *grin*)
> 
> Of course, I also learned a LOT of Southern phrases, and even some
> superstitions, over my time down here as well.
> 
> More to come later... possibly.
> 
> Iggy McSnurd
> 
> 
> 
> 


=====
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