[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: southern chatter

[Iggy McSnurd]

>From: "Marita Jan"
>
> Trust me, if someone says something negative followed by "bless her
> heart," it's NOT meant sympathetically.  ("She can't help the way her mama
> raised her.....bless her heart")  Adding the "bless her heart" just allows
> the speaker to plead not-guilty to the insult.   And trust me, no one can
> be as insulting as a southern woman with a kindhearted smile on her face.
> Most of the time, you're bleeding before you feel the blade!  Run....run
> very fast.
>

Iggy here:

*laugh* Actually, what you say is true for the most part... But there are
times when it actually is an expression of sympathy.  (It's knowing WHEN
that's the hard part...)

Here's how I decode it:

If the phrase follows the statement, like in your example, then count it as
a "left handed" comment.  (A phrase that applies here, even though I don't
like it... being left handed myself.  It means that you're saying something
politely, but it's intent is either condescending or insulting.)

If the phrase proceeds the statement, then it's a rough 75% chance insult,
25% chance sympathy... To tell which it is, you generally have to actually
KNOW the person saying it, although sometimes you can figure it out by
reading the eyes and face of the speaker.  (Unless they're an older Southern
lady... then you're outta luck, since they're experts at hiding their intent
behind the phrase.)

If the phrase is said by itself, then it's about 35-40% chance to be
favorable, and 60-65% chance to be "left handed."  If it's something you
can't help (like my health problems, or a homely child...) then you're
usually in luck, since it can often be sympathy for your lot in life.  If
it's something you have ANY say in WHATSOEVER... (like how you dress,
whether your spouse drinks a little too much, or you're in debt up to your
eyebrows...) then you'd best figure that it's a way of politely saying that
you're a moron for letting yourself stay in the situation you're in... or
getting there int he first palce.  Your best way in determining the intent
here is look at what the phrase is addressing, and the tone of voice.

But on the whole, I agree with you...

Your best bet is to stock up on bandages and antiseptic when you're around
anyone who uses the phrase.


Iggy McSnurd.