[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: southern chatter

[K G]

>From: "Marita Jan"
>
> Trust me, if someone says something negative followed by "bless her heart," it's NOT meant sympathetically.  ("She can't help the way her mama raised her.....bless her heart")  Adding the "bless her heart" just allows the speaker to plead not-guilty to the insult.   And trust me, no one can be as insulting as a southern woman with a kindhearted smile on her face. Most of the time, you're bleeding before you feel the blade!  Run....run very fast.
>

Iggy here:

*laugh* Actually, what you say is true for the most part... But there are times when it actually is an expression of sympathy.  (It's knowing WHEN that's the hard part...)

Here's how I decode it:

If the phrase follows the statement, like in your example, then count it as a "left handed" comment.  (A phrase that applies here, even though I don't like it... being left handed myself.  It means that you're saying something politely, but it's intent is either condescending or insulting.)

If the phrase proceeds the statement, then it's a rough 75% chance insult, 25% chance sympathy... To tell which it is, you generally have to actually KNOW the person saying it, although sometimes you can figure it out by
reading the eyes and face of the speaker.  (Unless they're an older Southern lady... then you're outta luck, since they're experts at hiding their intent behind the phrase.)

If the phrase is said by itself, then it's about 35-40% chance to be favorable, and 60-65% chance to be "left handed."  If it's something you can't help (like my health problems, or a homely child...) then you're
usually in luck, since it can often be sympathy for your lot in life.  If it's something you have ANY say in WHATSOEVER... (like how you dress, whether your spouse drinks a little too much, or you're in debt up to your
eyebrows...) then you'd best figure that it's a way of politely saying that you're a moron for letting yourself stay in the situation you're in... or getting there int he first palce.  Your best way in determining the intent
here is look at what the phrase is addressing, and the tone of voice.

But on the whole, I agree with you...

Your best bet is to stock up on bandages and antiseptic when you're around anyone who uses the phrase.


Iggy McSnurd.



I have to admit that you pretty much have it!!  Being an "older (42) Southern woman raised in the old way" I would say that you have a pretty good chance of missing the knives being thrown!!!  Bless your heart!!

Don't forget the variation of it: "Bless your pea-pickin' heart."

moonmyyst


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