A Grouchy TOP TEN (was:POA comment SPOILERS sort of)

[entropymail]

Okay, just saw the film last night, and had lots to get off my chest,
Firstly, I want to say that I was fully prepared to love the movie, no
matter what. I understand that books must be distilled in order to fit
the two (or three) hour movie format, etc., etc. But, geez, did Cuaron
even read the book? 

And so, in no particular order, here's my  "Decidedly Grouchy Top Ten
Things That Made Me Grouchy":

1. The Whomping Willow: Okay, if you could just run up to the tree and
yell "Immobulus", don't you think someone would have figured that out
by now? Fred and George?

2. The Great Hall: Well, it's not quite as great anymore. Not all
glittery and sparkly and magical. It's smaller and not sparkly. 
Blech. Looks like my boys' cafeteria if my boys' cafeteria had
floating candles.

3. The Dursley's:  The jumpy hand-held camera was just too docu-drama
for me.  Hand-helds and IMAX don't mix. Two words:  Motion. Sickness.

4. The Leaky Cauldron: Particularly, Tom the innkeeper. What is this,
an episode of Monty Python?

5. Dumbledore: If you ask me, the wisest and most powerful wizard of
his time would know a thing or two about good hygiene by now. Time for
a mani and a pedi, Albus.

6. Hogwarts: Yes, I know it's supposed to be thousands of years old
and all, but does it have to look like it's about to crumble to dust
any second now? Check out the staircase to Lupin's office. Made me
want to go wash my hands.

7. Lucius Malfoy: As in... "there is no Lucius Malfoy". In a movie
with narry a Voldemort sighting, the least  they could do was leave
Lucius alone; he's so yummy.

8. Werewolf Lupin: Don't get me started on Werewolf Lupin.  Why in the
world would Harry's class have to write a whole essay on how to tell a
werewolf from a real wolf when the werewolf is the one that's seven
feet tall, hairless and looks like a cartoon when he runs away?

9. Boggart Class: Harry actually gets up to the boggart and it turns
into a dementor. *Then* Lupin steps in. Later, Harry asks him why he
stepped in, and Lupin said he was afraid Harry's boggart would take
the form of Voldemort. But it was already a dementor! Aargh!

10. Flitwick: WTF was that?

I'm gonna go watch Chamber of Secrets now, just to get the "ick" out
of my brain.

:: Entropy ::