A Grouchy TOP TEN (was:POA comment SPOILERS sort of)

[Shirley]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "entropymail" 
<entropymail at y...> wrote:
> Okay, just saw the film last night, and had lots to get off my 
chest,
> Firstly, I want to say that I was fully prepared to love the movie, 
no
> matter what. I understand that books must be distilled in order to 
fit
> the two (or three) hour movie format, etc., etc. But, geez, did 
Cuaron
> even read the book? 

Shirley:  Me, too.  I wanted to like it.  I wanted it to be *fun*.  
You're not being grouchy; you're being a realist....
 
> And so, in no particular order, here's my  "Decidedly Grouchy Top 
Ten
> Things That Made Me Grouchy":
> 
> 1. The Whomping Willow: Okay, if you could just run up to the tree 
and
> yell "Immobulus", don't you think someone would have figured that 
out
> by now? Fred and George?

Yup, agreed.  *That* was just stupid.  On the other hand, the 
Whomping Willow provided some much-needed comic relief at times 
(albeit a bit over-used by the end of the movie).

> 2. The Great Hall: Well, it's not quite as great anymore. Not all
> glittery and sparkly and magical. It's smaller and not sparkly. 
> Blech. Looks like my boys' cafeteria if my boys' cafeteria had
> floating candles.
> 
> 3. The Dursley's:  The jumpy hand-held camera was just too docu-
drama
> for me.  Hand-helds and IMAX don't mix. Two words:  Motion. 
Sickness.

Eeewww, that would be tough.  My problem with that whole scene thing 
was that it was too jerky from a plot development standpoint - we 
just jumped right into things.  I *did* like Balloon!AuntMarge, 
though.
 
> 4. The Leaky Cauldron: Particularly, Tom the innkeeper. What is 
this,
> an episode of Monty Python?

My first thought:  Marty Feldman (may he rest in peace) from Young 
Frankenstein.  Not, repeat *not* the picture of Tom that was in *my* 
mind!
Secondly, what's up with Fudge having what looked like an office in 
the Leaky Cauldron?????
 
> 5. Dumbledore: If you ask me, the wisest and most powerful wizard of
> his time would know a thing or two about good hygiene by now. Time 
for
> a mani and a pedi, Albus.

Okay, I'll give you that.  Otherwise, I liked Gambon in the role 
(although I miss my buddy Richard Harris an awful lot).
 
> 6. Hogwarts: Yes, I know it's supposed to be thousands of years old
> and all, but does it have to look like it's about to crumble to dust
> any second now? Check out the staircase to Lupin's office. Made me
> want to go wash my hands.

YES!!!  I knew there was something really bothering me, there, but 
couldn't put my finger on it (thank God!) ;-)
 
> 7. Lucius Malfoy: As in... "there is no Lucius Malfoy". In a movie
> with narry a Voldemort sighting, the least  they could do was leave
> Lucius alone; he's so yummy.
> 
> 8. Werewolf Lupin: Don't get me started on Werewolf Lupin.  Why in 
the
> world would Harry's class have to write a whole essay on how to 
tell a
> werewolf from a real wolf when the werewolf is the one that's seven
> feet tall, hairless and looks like a cartoon when he runs away?

Okay, I won't get you started, but I didn't like it *at all*, 
either.  So, I guess, don't get me started, either.  The guy sitting 
next to me in the theater actually *snorted* when he saw that.

And, what was up with all the things that Hermione and Harry had to 
do to get there "time past" selves going, or saving themselves?  
Throwing things into Hagrid's hut (don't remember that in the book), 
howling at the werewolf (that, neither).  Again, another bit of 
schtick overdone....
 
> 9. Boggart Class: Harry actually gets up to the boggart and it turns
> into a dementor. *Then* Lupin steps in. Later, Harry asks him why he
> stepped in, and Lupin said he was afraid Harry's boggart would take
> the form of Voldemort. But it was already a dementor! Aargh!

Oh!  That made me *so mad*!!  Yep, I don't think Cuaron read the book 
(or maybe it was Kloves that didn't read it - isn't he the 
screenwriter?).  At any rate, I can't believe JKR didn't step in and 
say "Uh-UH, that's not the way it goes."   Another thing for the guy 
next to me to groan at (and me right along with him)....

> 10. Flitwick: WTF was that?

Huh?  I don't remember seeing Flitwick at all, unless you're thinking 
of the guy directing the Bullfrog Choir, which I just don't get.  I 
got the soundtrack, and Cuaron wrote a blurb in it about what a great 
job John Williams did and how he built the whole movie/music around 
this frog choir thing.  Too bad he picked something not even vaguely 
canon to build an entire movie around.  *That* would be *my* WTF 
moment!!
 
> I'm gonna go watch Chamber of Secrets now, just to get the "ick" out
> of my brain.
> 
> :: Entropy ::

Now, I wish I'd thought of that, but I did a crash scuba course this 
weekend and was too tired to move when I got home from the movie 
Saturday night.  Maybe I'll try that after I see PoA again, because 
I'm fairly certain my daughter (who comes home today from staying 
with her dad a couple of weeks) will want to see it.

Shirley, wishing the "ick" would go away, but happy to have someplace 
to vent!