Rowling endorses candidate

[davewitley]

Rowling Endorses Candidate

In a shock move six months ago the noted author JK Rowling 
intervened in the election for the post of Minister for Magic.  When 
she was asked "Will Arthur Weasley be the new Minister for Magic?" 
she replied "Alas, no".

An outraged Fred Weasley, speaking for the Weasley campaign, hit 
back: "If she thinks she can just write us out of the plot like 
that, she's got another think coming.  Weasley is our king!"  A 
spokesperson for S.P.E.W., which has received encouragement from the 
Weasley campaign in the past, said in a high-pitched voice: "She 
can't say that, she just can't!  It goes against all laws of 
authorial self-insertion!"

Mr Draco Malfoy, associated with the Malfoy campaign, added "She 
should stay out of politics and get on with writing the books.  
After five years, I still have no personality whatsoever, and I'm 
beginning to wonder if I ever will, and my friends Crabbe and Goyle 
have been completely deprived of their freedom of speech all that 
time."

Many observers, however, see in her words tacit support for 
the 'anybody but Fudge' movement, which has also taken heart from 
the recent victory by the Chudley Cannons (see 'Orange Sox 
Lift "Curse of the Bagman"', p94).  Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy, 
added: "Fudge has kept prisoners at an offshore location beyond 
judicial scrutiny for too long.  It's time for a change."  An 
associate, who did not wish to be named, added "Enough, Lucius, my 
slippery friend.  I have a plan for the wizarding world that will 
soon be making its mark".  Pressed for details, however, he merely 
gave a cold high laugh and disapparated in a flash of green light.

In a further 'October Surprise' move widely seen as aimed at 
unsettling the wizarding electorate, Ms Rowling broke a long period 
of silence to assert on her website that 'some of us may bore you', 
and further confused voters by wishing Molly Weasley a happy 
birthday.  This was seen by analysts as the clearest indication yet 
that Ms Rowling – often referred to by her initials JKR and thought 
to be the leader of a worldwide shadowy group known as 'The Fandom' –
 accepts responsibility for the state of the wizarding world.

Some observers were able to remain calm.  One bystander courteously 
twinkled: "Ms Rowling is entitled to her views.  I'm sure she meant 
well when she killed, obliviated, fired, kidnapped and drove to 
insanity my Defence Against the Dark Arts staff."

Nonetheless, many analysts regard JKR as something of a loose 
cannon, recalling the ruthless way she killed off the Black 
campaign, and would rather draw a veil over the whole matter.

The Quibbler