Rowling endorses candidate - very funny

[lavaluvn]

This post of davewitley was so clever I just wanted to make sure it 
didn't sink into oblivion unappreciated.  I almost skipped it 
because of the subject line... but how can you not love a good 
Quibbler article?
-Andromeda


"davewitley" wrote:
  
> Rowling Endorses Candidate
> 
> In a shock move six months ago the noted author JK Rowling 
> intervened in the election for the post of Minister for Magic.  
>When she was asked "Will Arthur Weasley be the new Minister for 
Magic?" she replied "Alas, no".
> 
> An outraged Fred Weasley, speaking for the Weasley campaign, hit 
> back: "If she thinks she can just write us out of the plot like 
> that, she's got another think coming.  Weasley is our king!"  A 
> spokesperson for S.P.E.W., which has received encouragement from 
the 
> Weasley campaign in the past, said in a high-pitched voice: "She 
> can't say that, she just can't!  It goes against all laws of 
> authorial self-insertion!"
> 
> Mr Draco Malfoy, associated with the Malfoy campaign, added "She 
> should stay out of politics and get on with writing the books.  
> After five years, I still have no personality whatsoever, and I'm 
> beginning to wonder if I ever will, and my friends Crabbe and 
Goyle 
> have been completely deprived of their freedom of speech all that 
> time."
> 
> Many observers, however, see in her words tacit support for 
> the 'anybody but Fudge' movement, which has also taken heart from 
> the recent victory by the Chudley Cannons (see 'Orange Sox 
> Lift "Curse of the Bagman"', p94).  Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy, 
> added: "Fudge has kept prisoners at an offshore location beyond 
> judicial scrutiny for too long.  It's time for a change."  An 
> associate, who did not wish to be named, added "Enough, Lucius, my 
> slippery friend.  I have a plan for the wizarding world that will 
> soon be making its mark".  Pressed for details, however, he merely 
> gave a cold high laugh and disapparated in a flash of green light.
> 
> In a further 'October Surprise' move widely seen as aimed at 
> unsettling the wizarding electorate, Ms Rowling broke a long 
period 
> of silence to assert on her website that 'some of us may bore 
you', 
> and further confused voters by wishing Molly Weasley a happy 
> birthday.  This was seen by analysts as the clearest indication 
yet 
> that Ms Rowling – often referred to by her initials JKR and 
thought 
> to be the leader of a worldwide shadowy group known as 'The 
Fandom' –
>  accepts responsibility for the state of the wizarding world.
> 
> Some observers were able to remain calm.  One bystander 
courteously 
> twinkled: "Ms Rowling is entitled to her views.  I'm sure she 
meant 
> well when she killed, obliviated, fired, kidnapped and drove to 
> insanity my Defence Against the Dark Arts staff."
> 
> Nonetheless, many analysts regard JKR as something of a loose 
> cannon, recalling the ruthless way she killed off the Black 
> campaign, and would rather draw a veil over the whole matter.
> 
> The Quibbler