Do you go for the jugular in legal matters?

[Steve]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Tonks" <tonks_op at ...> wrote:
> 
> Tonks:
> I have been thinking about your mother and her situation. I know I 
> should butt out of this, but then you did ask for advice, so here 
> goes. Keep in mind that I do not really know the situation so I 
> could be really off the wall here. (Basically your mother should 
> have a good, fierce, attorney and do what he says.)
>  
> ..edited...
> 
> Tonks_op
>

bboyminn:

I agree we don't know the details of this specific event, but I
generally find the court system and the parties involved to be very
vindictive in their actions regarding Alimony and Child Support, and
very baised in favor of the woman. 

First, I don't believe and child support or alimony should be a fixed
amount; it should be a percentage of income. That way as a persons
income rised and falls, he is not going to be put in a position of
having his life and his finances destroyed; because, vindictive as it
may be, it ends up hurting everyone.

Second, we don't really know the ages of the people involved. A man in
his late 50's is not a good job candidate. There are plenty of kids
fresh out of college, even some with perhaps five years experience,
who will work for a lot less money, and represent a much better long
term investment for a company. 

Next, having an engineering degree, doesn't mean having an engineering
 job. Florida used to be a great place for engineering back in the
boom days of the Space Race, but when NASA cut back, there were
coutless engineers who couldn't find work.

Next, we can't just vilify the man, without looking at the motivations
and actions of the woman. $1,750/month is not much, but I have and do
live on less, you just have to set your priorities. You simply can not
and should not expect to continue in your same lifestyle once you have
cut off your primary source of support for that lifestyle. 

I don't know the particulars of this case, but I do have first hand
experience in which the mother lived completey off her child support,
plus whatever her current boyfriend added to the mix. The children
were receiving a substantial sum, though certainly not enough to be
considered rich. We do live in a area where the cost of living is
relatively low. The mother didn't see any need to have a job, so, for
the most part, she lived completely off the child support. 

That was very short sighted of her. First of all, now several years
have gone by, the kids are approaching age 18, and the child support
is going to stop. She has no work history. She has no income built up
in her Social Security trust fund. She has done nothing to get herself
'job ready'. Extremely short sigithed. Further, she has cheated her
own children. If she had supported herself and used her 'child suport'
as just that, the kids would probably have money in a savings account
that the could draw on to get them started in life; money for college
for example. But, no, the money was squandered.

Back to the main subject, when this divorce occurred, the woman in
question should have known that at some point she was going to have to
provide for herself. What is she doing to make that happen? She is
independant by divorce, now, whether she likes it or not, she is going
to have to find a way to become financially independant.

Don't get me wrong, a husband does take on a responsibility when he
gets married, but a wife also takes on a responsibility, and a
substantial part of both those responsibilities are lost in a divorce.
In my opinion, a divorce cancels the responsibility to care for the
other person in perpetuity. Once the bond of marriage is broken, at
some point the individuals cease being responsible for each other.

I think, you would all do better to seek out what is fair, reasonable,
and just; rather than seeking new innovative ways of punishing each
others. 

But, of course, I don't know the specific details, so my statement are
no more than general opinions on the subject.

Just passing it along.

Steve/bboyminn