Do you go for the jugular in legal matters?

[Dina Lerret]

On 6/10/06, Tonks <tonks_op at yahoo.com> wrote:

> First I suspect that your father's attorney is advising him to work
> only part-time in an attempt to 1. Get lower alimony payments and 2.
> Force your mother to go to work herself.  If she went to work
> herself that would not be a good idea because then your father's
> attorney will come back and say "she can support herself" and bang
> she will lose her alimony.  It sounds like a shred ploy on the part
> of your father and his attorney. Don't fall for it.

Aye, this is something I've wondered about, especially considering the
amount he's currently sending her matches--albeit $5 less--what his
lawyer proposed last year as a negotiation to end the trial sooner.

> I would NOT get rid of the attorney.  Your mother does not speak
> English, she does not know the ways of our legal system, she would
> be eaten alive and left penniless and on the street without one.

She does speak English.  Offhand, I believe I said she had a weak
understanding.  God!  Speaking of her English, I've tried to correct
her of this for months but to no avail: she says "egg-noy" for annoy
to describe the alimony issue.  No wonder I was stuck in speech
therapy during elementary school to remove her version of "Engrish".
{chuckle}  The *basic* understanding exists but there are some gaps
such as her writing out a check (just last year) where the invoice
referenced "make payable to vendor" and she wrote out the check to
"Vendor".  Classic moment.

My mom is sixty-eight now and I'm really thinking senility is kicking
in to a degree... Err, I question her health when she tires from
walking during grocery shopping.  My dad is eight years younger at age
sixty.  So, yeah, they're both not 'spring chickens'.  About twenty
years of marriage and *over twenty years* of off-and-on
divorce/alimony battles--I'm estimating they divorced when I was 4-5
years old.  Florida court rules, after twenty years of marriage, he
has to pay her alimony for as long as she lives, especially since she
has not remarried.

Another problem being, she has no Social Security funds to fall back
on.  Her work history has been mostly parttime (food prep and laundry
jobs) to raise three kids with six and ten year age gaps--she gave
birth to me when she was forty.  She was the "traditional homemaker"
and not the modern day definition of "homemaker", who not only manages
family but a career too.  She maintained the household as her spouse,
my dad, achieved additional education for a career and made sure all
her children had a good 'start' in life.

My dad married when he was very young, and as lacking in
'scintillating' conversation as my mom is, what she makes up with is
her very nurturing nature.  In a way, I understand why he divorced my
mom.  People change as they grow older.

> with your father. Make an offer.  He will be free of your mother
> forever.  His new wife can be free of your mother forever!  Just pay

I think they redefined "for richer or poorer, 'til death do us part". {g}

Again, thanks for the suggestions, Tonks!  I guess I especially feel
bad because next weekend is Father's Day and he's getting served by
the lawyer next week.  There really isn't any 'good timing' for such
matters.

Dina