Do you go for the jugular in legal matters?

[Dina Lerret]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Steve" <bboyminn at ...> wrote:

> First, I don't believe and child support or alimony should be a fixed
> amount; it should be a percentage of income. That way as a persons
> income rised and falls, he is not going to be put in a position of
> having his life and his finances destroyed; because, vindictive as it
> may be, it ends up hurting everyone.

I worked in payroll for awhile and many court garnishments I saw were
based on a percentage of income.

> Second, we don't really know the ages of the people involved. A man in
> his late 50's is not a good job candidate. There are plenty of kids

See, this is where it gets into sketchy territory.  Even into his late
fifties, my dad was employed with contract offers--also, he doesn't
necessarily work in Florida - he goes where the contract is based.
His explanation was that he turned down a job offer and that he was
'blacklisted' as a result.  I really don't know the full details.
>From what little I did gather, the judge *was* on his side--very
friendly to my dad and aloof with my mom--until he caught my dad in
some lie.

I don't know what exactly--though, hearing the part about my dad not
being able to afford a rental car (came in from Virginia) and had to
ride the public bus caused me to quirk my eyebrow (theatrics much?).
Anyway, that seemed to be the goal of both lawyers: make the other
side lose credibility.  My mom's lawyer beat my dad's in that aspect.
Whatever happened to cause the change, the court orders, if they were
directed at me, would've cause my face to flame up in embarrassment.
Since my mom didn't understand the final decision, she called me to
review the paperwork: the wording was formal but it was basically a
'bitchslap' against my dad.

> I don't know the particulars of this case, but I do have first hand
> experience in which the mother lived completey off her child
> support

Heh, I was rather impressed by other child support payment numbers.
Thanks to my stepmom for pointing out my 'worth', I knew my dad paid
$200/month with an additional $50/month for insurance as child support
for me.  Definitely not child support an adult can live off of. {g}

> Back to the main subject, when this divorce occurred, the woman in
> question should have known that at some point she was going to have to
> provide for herself. What is she doing to make that happen? She is
> independant by divorce, now, whether she likes it or not, she is going
> to have to find a way to become financially independant.

She did try, I'll give her some credit for that.  She joined the ranks
of 'manual labor' jobs in her mid-forties such as food prep and
sweatshop factory jobs, working alongside immigrant workers.  Her
education was limited to rural 1940-1950s farmland in Japan.  I was in
school during the days but not long enough for a fulltime schedule, so
I attended after school care ('cute' story: I went to a KinderCare
behind a gun range. I distinctly remember because they had a picture
of Yosemite Sam holding up his guns.).  However, that became too
expensive and she additionally cut back on her hours to take care of
me, and finally, the work wore her down as she reached her
mid-fifties, especially as younger workers (coming in by the boatload
and I literally mean *boatload*) moved faster.

> But, of course, I don't know the specific details, so my statement are
> no more than general opinions on the subject.
>
> Just passing it along.

Thanks!  It's far from an easy decision.  Personally, I'm not fond of
the 'jugular attack'.  If my dad is trying, then it's understandable
but there's also the 'what if there isn't honesty'.  I was never close
to him, so I don't know him well enough.  What I do know he's my dad,
my only dad.

Dina