Why Rowling should not have outed DD

[Tonks]

> Dana:
> 
> Also if her mission was tolerance it got right past you because 
you are displaying an enormous amount of intolerance here. Gay 
people should not be included in the Harry Potter world because some 
people might not tolerate the idea of a main character being gay? So 
what the mainstream of people might or might not think is more 
important to you so it seems. 

Tonks:
You sound very angry. I will ignore what seems like a personal 
attack because it is colored by your anger.


Dana cont:> 
(Snipped some good and well written, thought provoking ideas.) 


> You do not change the world by pretending all have the same values 
> while in reality they actually are not. (Snip)
> If you would, then you are actually denying yourself the right to 
be whomever you want to be and to think whatever you want to think. 
> Acceptance based on a false premise is not acceptance and if you 
have to change your own outline to be accepted for who you are then 
you are untrue to yourself. 

Tonks:
I agree.


Dana: 
> If I were gay and you were my friend then this would be reason 
enough for me to discontinue my friendship with you, because I would 
> no longer be able to trust that you would stick up for me when 
push comes to shove. 

Tonks:
You brought my friends into this discussion so let’s use that as an 
example. I have friends that are very different from one another. I 
have gay friends and friends that think that being gay is kinky or 
evil. I have friends who are conservative in their social and moral 
views and those that are very liberal. I even have friends that are 
Christian Fundamentalist even though I am very opposed to the ideas 
and political beliefs of this group of people.  Some of my friends 
are poor, others very rich. Some high school drop outs with poor 
grammar, others PhD’s.  I have friends that are atheist and I am 
very religious, etc.

You asked why I don’t stand up for my gay friends when with other 
groups of people by pushing the gay agenda. I don’t hide who I am or 
what I believe. I just don’t beat people over the head with it. I 
accept people for who they are, where they are, and I come with no 
agenda to change them. In other words I respect the gay and the anti-
gay.  My Republican friends know that I am a rabid Democrat. My 
atheist friends know that I am deeply religious.  My Fundamentalist 
friends know that I have friends that are gay and that I do not 
agree with the Fundamentalist point of view on many things, gay or 
otherwise.  We are all friends because of the things that bind us.  
I don’t let the things that separate us get in the way of the 
relationship.  

I have tried to point out in my post here (and regrettably I have 
not done it well and many not be doing it well now either) that 
there needs to be tolerance on both sides of any issue. When many 
people on this list say that anti-gay people need to be tolerant of 
gays and all of the ideas that come with that, it seems to me that 
they are not allowing any room for tolerance of those who do not 
share their views.  I am saying that we need to be tolerant of the 
people who are not tolerant of our views.  It doesn’t matter who is 
right and who is wrong.  No one wins a war. We see that even in HP. 

Yes, there is a time to stand up and fight, I am not talking about 
those times. I am talking about people’s thoughts and beliefs.  If 
you do want to change thoughts and beliefs, or as the politicians 
say “win the hearts and minds” of people, you don’t do it by beating 
the hell out of them first. You don’t do it with a “I am right and 
if you don’t agree with me your wrong” attitude. You find the mutual 
ground. You look for the things that unite you. We all assume that 
our view is the right one.  This is a win-lose game mentality.  No 
one wins that game either. 

Tonks_op