church humour and Christmas/holiday plays

[Belinda]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Mary Ann" <macloudt at ...> 
wrote:
>
> Potioncat wrote:
> 
<snip> 

> **IMO traditional nativity plays have special rules which must be 
> followed or I'll become all Scrooge-like again:
> 
> 1)  No participant may be taller than 3 1/2 feet.
> 
> 2)  No participant may be allowed to spell any word more 
complicated 
> than "cat".  If the participant cannot spell his or her own name, 
so 
> much the better.
> 
> 3)  Every shepherd must be wearing a bathrobe and a tea towel on 
> his/her head.  Bonus points if the tea towel is a souvenir one from 
a 
> seaside town.  Scruffy trainers, preferably with Spider Man on 
them, 
> sticking out from under the bathrobes are also a must.
> 
> 4)  Under no circumstances must any of the Wise Men, who must all 
sport 
> cardboard crowns covered in aluminum foil, be able to actually 
> pronounce the word "frankinscence".
> 
> 5)  Waving to parents and grandparents by participants is strongly 
> encouraged, as is at least half a dozen proud grandmothers 
> shouting "Ooh, there's our Kevin!" in voices so loud that they 
> overpower whatever is being said on stage.
> 
> 6)  Participants who are not waving to parents and grandparents 
must 
> spend the entire play staring into space and not having a clue as 
to 
> what is going on.
> 
> 7)  Very strong coffee must be made available for the adults trying 
> desparately to keep order over their little charges during the 
whole 
> charade.  Alcohol must be served to these same adults once the play 
is 
> over and all the little darlings have gone home (ask me how I know 
> this).
> 
> Mary Ann, who lives for preschool nativity plays
>

Belinda:
LOL Mary Ann this is precious! May I add?

8) Mary must forget that the doll she's holding is supposed to be a 
real baby. Better yet, she should forget she's holding anything, and 
let it dangle by its swaddlings.

9) All the stable animals shall compete to make their noises the 
loudest.

10) Angel's halos should be attached so that they slowly slip 
sideways throughout the play.  Wings too.