Blonde Jokes

[Jayne]

 had a good chuckle....hope you do too !!

Jayne


BLONDE LOGIC  
    Two blonde's living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, 
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther 
away... Florida or the moon?" 
    The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see 
Florida ?????" 
  
CAR TROUBLE 

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the 
mechanic it died. 
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 
    She says, "What's the story?" 
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" 
    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 
  
SPEEDING TICKET  

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very 
nicely if he could see her license. 
    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act 
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you 
expect me to show it to you!" 
 
RIVER WALK 

    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees 
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can 
I get to the other side?" 
    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and 
shouts back, "You  ARE on the other side." 

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE 

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said 
that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 
    "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." 
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and 
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She 
pushed her knee and screamed; 
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched 
made her scream. 
    The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?  

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." 
    "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING 

    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the 
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde 
behind the wheel was knitting! 
    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and 
siren, the trooper  cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn 
and yelled, "PULL OVER!" 
    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" 

BLONDE ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The 
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" 
    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"  
    The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the 
sun!" 
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their 
heads.  "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said 
the Russian. 
    To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're 
going at night!" 

IN A VACUUM
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. 
She rolled the  dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question 
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you 
hear it?"  
    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!  

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new 
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by 
saying that one was named 
Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend said, "Whoever heard of 
someone naming dogs like that?" 
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond.  "They're watch dogs!"