More clippings from The Daily Prophet

[eggplant88 at hotmail.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 5309

    CLIPPINGS FROM THE DAILY PROPHET

Some of you may not have a subscription to The Daily Prophet so I 
thought I'd send you a few clippings just to let you know some of the 
stuff going on in the wizarding world.
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A BREAKUP SOUGHT FOR WEASLEY INDUSTRIES

Neville Longbottom the head of the antitrust division of the 
department of magic said today that his department was charging 
Weasley Industries with anti competitive practices. Weasley 
Industries is the parent company of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes the 
phenomenally successful chain of joke shops that has made Fred and 
George Weasley the two richest wizards in the world. The brothers 
opened one tiny shop in Hogsmead less than 5 years ago and their 
growth has been nothing less than astonishing. Today they dominate, 
some say monopolize, the entire joke industry.

In a press conference today minister Longbottom said "The company has 
engaged in predatory pricing and other unfair monopolistic practices. 
Every jokester feels that having a good supply of Canary Creams and 
Ton Tongue Toffee is absolutely essential, so in it must be admitted  
brilliant marketing move, the Weasley brothers started to gave away 
Whoopee Cushions and plastic vomit with each purchase. Independent 
producers like International Whoopee Cushion and Asia Pacific Plastic 
Vomit just could not compete with a tie in with fundamental products 
that every prankster is virtually forced to buy. Their main retail 
competitor, Zonkos joke shop, tried to counter with Peanut Parrots 
and Big Tongue Gum but the Weasley's successfully sued Zonkos for 
patent infringement and Zonkos was forced to file for bankruptcy, 
leaving the brothers virtually the only remaining force in this

Continued on page A6
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advertisement 

The musical stylings of Percy Weasley have made him the most popular 
singer of romantic ballads of his generation, now this beloved 
minstrel he has written a book of tender love poems. "It Might Be 
Verse" is available at all Flourish And Blots locations. 
============================
continued from page 1

very important sector of our economy." The ministry is trying to 
force Weasley Industries to split into two companies that would 
compete with each other. In a statement to reporters Fred Weasley 
said "From the beginning all my brother and I have tried to do is 
make a funny product that a jokester can afford. We think it's a pity 
minister Longbottom does not understand this but we look forward to 
proving it in a court of law". If a out of court settlement can not 
be agreed on a long and very complicated trial could start in about a 
year.

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A New Malfoy Movie

Actor Draco Malfoy has signed to play the title character in 
"Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle", the movie based on the first of the 
Martin Miggs series of children's books that has become the fastest 
selling book of all time. Mr. Malfoy is best known for his work in 
the 7 part historical mini series "The Harry Potter Story", he played 
the part of Dobby. 

Martin Miggs in the books is a little boy who can do no witchcraft 
but overcomes all sorts of exotic and fanciful dangers with nothing 
to help him but intelligence and courage. Mr. Malfoy is 23 years old 
but due to a unfortunate accident during a unsuccessful attempt to 
make another Philosopher's Stone he looks like he's about 12. The 
latest book in this controversial series is "Martin Miggs And The Tax 
Audit" and is considered by many to be too frightening for younger 
readers. Conservative wizards, including Mr. Malfoy's own father, 
also claim that by having the hero solve problems without sorcery the 
series promotes un-wizarding values and is corrupting our youth. Mr. 
Malfoy's only comment was "A job is a job".  
 
=============================     

A PROFESSOR RESIGNS  

Severus Snape the potions master at Hogwarts has resigned from that 
school so he could accept the position of Vice President Of Special 
Projects at Weasley Industries. George Weasley told The Daily Prophet
"My brother and I have known Severus for many years and feel he can 
make a unique contribution to our management team at this important 
moment in our company's history." He did not say if this was related 
to the anti trust difficulties the company is having.