[HPforGrownups] The Daily Prophet (Joywitch, you are a pleasure!)

[Denise Rogers]

No: HPFGUIDX 5661

I love the "continuation!"
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joywitch " <joym999 at aol.com>
To: <HPforGrownups at egroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 11, 2000 11:48 PM
Subject: [HPforGrownups] The Daily Prophet


> *************** THE DAILY PROPHET ******************
> 
> TRELAWNEY PREDICTS U.S. ELECTION RESULTS
> 
> by Joywitch M. Curmudgeon, D.P.'s Washington correspondent
> 
> HOGSMEADE, U.K., Nov. 11 - At a press conference held today, noted 
> seer Sibyll Trelawney predicted the results of the hotly-contested 
> U.S. presidential election.  Trelawney stated, "I have consulted my 
> crystal ball, carefully examined many cups of tea leaves, and 
> examined the position of the stars, and I am happy to announce that I 
> have determined the results of what will undoubtedly be many months 
> of counting, and recounting, of the election ballots.  I have 
> determined that the next president of the United States will be Ralph 
> Nader."
> 
> Reporters and bystanders at the press conference, which took place in 
> Hogsmeade's famous Three Broomsticks pub, were somewhat taken aback 
> at this prediction.  Hogwarts professor Minerva McGonagall was heard 
> to remark, "Ralph Nader?  He's only got 3% of the vote.  If it 
> weren't for the fact that I never speak ill of my colleagues...."  
> 
> Fred Weasley, co-owner of the newly-expanded Weasley's Whizzes 
> (formerly Zonko's Joke Shop) said, "That's funny, my crystal ball 
> said that the dead governor of Missouri would be elected president."  
> Added his brother George, "Yeh, and also that Ralph Nader would be 
> run over by an irate Gore supporter driving a Corvair."  
> 
> According to bus conductor and frequent Three Broomsticks patron Stan 
> Shunpike, "I dunno nuffink about `mericans and I never `eard of this 
> Vader muggle, but Professor Trelawney, she's really sumfink.  I `ad 
> `er fur Divination when I was a student at `ogwarts, years ago.  
> Always predicted I'd be run over by the Knight Bus, she was, and `ere 
> I am running it instead."
> 
> Also present at the Three Broomsticks was Minister of Magic Cornelius 
> Fudge, who explained, "The results of the U.S. muggle election don't 
> really have any impact here in Great Britain, or indeed anywhere in 
> the worldwide wizard community.  There is simply no way a muggle 
> politician could do anything that would concern us at all, and I wish 
> everyone would stop sending me owls asking me, I mean, I don't think 
> it is anything we need to worry about."
> 
> Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, when asked to comment about 
> Trelawney's prediction, smiled, his eyes gleaming, and told this 
> reporter that, "Sibyll Trelawney, bless her, has been making 
> predictions for many years.  Occasionally she even predicts something 
> correctly.  Just a few years ago she accurately predicted that the 
> English Quidditch team would win the World Cup, thanks to their new 
> seeker, Harry Potter.  In 1994 she rightly predicted Voldemort's 
> return to power.  And previously, she made a true prediction that 
> (continued on pg. 17)
> 
> 
> 
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> 
> 


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