[HPforGrownups] Re: Abuse, Hermione and the triad, triumvirate.

[Amanda Lewanski]

No: HPFGUIDX 2603

Susan McGee wrote:

> Amanda, sorry but you are dead wrong. You have played into the
> misconceived notion of "blaming the victim". In other words, if
> the abused child or adult "doesn't accept it" then they are not
> abused, unlike those who do "accept it".

That's not what I meant. I meant just what you said, that people respond
differently in the same situation. In the same sense that prisoners who are
tortured still claim they are "free" in their own minds because they have
not given that last bit of their own selfhood away, Harry retains his
perspective and personality, and thus is not a victim. He is the recipient
of abuse, but not a victim. Another person, in the same circumstances, might
have been squashed into the mold and self-image desired, and really been a
victim. It has nothing to do with blame, it's just that there are always two
parties, the abuser and the abused, and the actions of both affect the
outcome.

--Amanda

>
>
> People have different methods of coping with abuse.
>
> Harry is unusual and not really true to life in one sense. Abused
> kids who make it usually have strong adult role models elsewhere,
> detailed fantasy worlds they escape into, or SOMEplace they go to
> survive.
>
> Also, many children who are abused get help as adults and resolve the
> issues that are causing them trouble.
>
> Some abused children are damaged, and don't get the help they need.
> They become serial killers, batterers, and child abusers themselves.
>
> Susan
>
>
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