[HPforGrownups] Re: Abuse, Hermione and the triad, triumvirate.

[Jinx]

No: HPFGUIDX 2721


> That's not what I meant. I meant just what you said, that people respond
> differently in the same situation. In the same sense that prisoners who
are
> tortured still claim they are "free" in their own minds because they have
> not given that last bit of their own selfhood away, Harry retains his
> perspective and personality, and thus is not a victim. He is the recipient
> of abuse, but not a victim. Another person, in the same circumstances,
might
> have been squashed into the mold and self-image desired, and really been a
> victim. It has nothing to do with blame, it's just that there are always
two
> parties, the abuser and the abused, and the actions of both affect the
> outcome.

Oh, you're so right!  I was getting just a bit sick of Susan saying "Harry
is an abused child", making him out to be some sort of damaged, passive
victim.  He's not!  He doesn't see himself as abused, and nor should we.

Let me make it loud and clear - IT IS JUST A STORY.  THE DURSLEYS ARE
FICTIONAL.  THEY ARE NOT REAL.  For 90% of the books, they aren't even
mentioned.  If realism was intended, the books would flop within weeks of
being published.  JKR is not writing on behalf of abuse victims, attempting
to make the world aware of their plight, she is writing for the unabused
majority, drawing on archetypal mythic themes to make it resonate (ie. the
childhood misfit discovering their true nature and benefitting humanity as a
result).  In fact, if the Dursleys were nice, there'd be too much temptation
for Harry to run away from the dangerous wizard world and his destiny of
fighting Voldemort, and try to be an ordinary Muggle again.  However, the
sheer awfulness of his Muggle life means that there's no going back.  Like
in GoF where he seriously considers leaving Hogwarts and only stops because
Hogwarts is the only place where he's ever been happy.  Also in PoA where he
runs away from the Dursleys - he's not upset because he's leaving his family
home, but because he thinks he's been expelled from Hogwarts and will thus
never be a proper wizard.

Yes, Harry's treatment by the D's qualifies as abusive behaviour.  And yes
we do take abuse seriously.  I'm a trainee counsellor myself.  However, we
do Harry a great disservice if we see him as an abused child with no power
to help himself.  He's not powerless, he's a wizard and a good one.  He has
had traumas in his life, but living with the Dursleys is not one of them.
It wasn't the Dursleys voices he heard when faced with Dementors, remember
that.  The Dursleys are not his real parents and he has always known that,
hence I don't think he's ever expected love from them.  And if he doesn't
expect love from them, then he's not going to be as severely traumatised
when he doesn't get it.  They don't care about him, and he has never cared
about them in the way that he did about his parents.  And if you don't care
about someone, they have far less power over you than someone you have once
deeply loved.  That, I think, is why real child abuse is so damaging, it is
the ultimate betrayal of trust.  If you have never really had that trust, it
is not so damaging.  Harry comes out of it all so well precisely because the
Dursleys never let him down - he didn't expect anything from them.

Abuse is a real issue in the real world.  It does not appear to be an issue
in the Harryverse.  I have enough of issues like abuse, drugs, rape,
violence in the real world, I definitely do not want it intruding into one
of my escape routes.  Leave your work at the door, please.

Rant over.


Jinx