Ron, Hermione and insecurities (this is probably quite long)

[Ebony]

No: HPFGUIDX 4885

Clearing out weeks of e-mail messages...

Hi, everyone!  I'm back (for a sec)... as I type these words I'm 
printing a long paper for tonight's class, eating, and eyeing the 
clock.  :-)

I just had to chime into the "Poor Ron" debate...
--- In HPforGrownups at egroups.com, eggplant88 at h... wrote:
> You're giving reasons why Ron was an ass, perhaps your theory is 
> correct, perhaps not, it doesn't matter, he's still an ass, he 
still > unjustly called his best friend a liar. I happen to think 
that's a > very big deal, I think it would permanently poison most 
friendships, > it's just lucky for Ron that Harry has a forgiving 
nature. Few people > are fortunate enough to have a friend as good as 
Harry and Ron almost > threw it away.

Well, that's basically my stance on the issue.  :-)  That wasn't just 
a little fight.  Not in a series like Joanne Rowling's.  It'd be 
different if they'd fought over grades or Quidditch skills or even 
girls.  But the split was over something much more serious.

I teach my students that their word is their bond, and it's the #1 
thing I struggle with in my life (and sometimes fail by putting too 
much on my plate)--keeping my word.  

To deliberately tell an untruth is horrible.  Doesn't matter if we've 
all done it--it's still wrong.  To imply that someone else is lying 
without concrete evidence is wrong.

When I was growing up, old folks from the South (read:  my 
grandparents, my father, and all my neighbors and relatives) wouldn't 
even let us say the word "lie".  We had to say "telling a story".  
It's funny... not only was there hell to pay for lying, the very use 
of the word was taboo and merited corporal punishment.  And if you 
called another child or adult a liar, you might as well kiss freedom 
and your rear end goodbye for quite a while.  

I ended a friendship with a colleague several months back because she 
implied to a parent that I was not being truthful about a situation.  
I'd let other slights go, but that one was the last straw.  Harry is 
a much better person than me... I found myself annoyed at Harry upon 
first reading of that section of GoF, but I was extremely angry at 
Ron.  And a little disquieted.  

Situations like the Triwizard Tournament show who your true friends 
are.  When it comes down to choosing between the way things appear to 
be and the word of my loved one, I'd like to think I'd go by my loved 
one's word.  With the return and rise of Voldemort, the forces of 
light and good are going to have to learn that faith in each other 
must sometime rest on "the evidence of things unseen".  Otherwise 
they will be utterly and rightfully defeated.

Without trust, there can be no love.

Disclaimer:  I'm not only the oldest child like Penny, I'm the oldest 
grandchild *and* the oldest kid in my generation.  Being the first 
baby born in a tightly-knit extended family in a decade affects you 
and your sibs'/cousins' perception of you... people have spoken of 
you in superlatives all your life, so you tend to live up to their 
expectations.

I don't think I have it in me to be fair to Ron, or Ginny, or any 
other character commonly pitied for being younger.  It's not easy 
being first--I've always longed for *someone* older that wasn't an 
authority figure to be there for me, to drive me places, to pay for 
things, to give me advice.  Also, I was my parents' first go at being 
Mom and Dad... by the time they got to baby sis they'd gotten the 
kinks worked out.  Being the pioneer gets tiring.  

So no, I'm not joining the "poor Ron" chorus.  Everyone's got 
issues.  When you impose those issues on others, you break up 
friendships.  And as the Death Eaters begin to gather again, you risk 
innocent lives.

--Ebony