Lord Voldemort (FILK)

[Meg Rose]

No: HPFGUIDX 24014

My friend and I came up with this one together:

Lord Voldemort
(To the tune of Macavity from the Broadway play Cats )

Setting: HARRY and RON are seating in the Gryffindor Common Room 
along with a group of Gryffindors as the CHORUS.

HARRY: Lord Voldemort's a scary guy, 
              He's called the Lord of Fear. 
              For he's the only wizard who can destroy the world.
              He's the baffalment of the Ministry, the wizard's 
world's despair.
             For when the reach the Dark Mark, Lord Voldemort's not 
there.

Harry: Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort,
         There's no one like Lord Voldemort.
          He's broken every wizard law,
          He breaks the law of gravity.
          His powers of persuasion would make a wizard stare.
          For when you reach the Dark Mark, Lord Voldemort's not 
there.  
          You may seek him in the dungeon
          You may look up in the air.
          But I tell you once and once again, Lord Voldemort's not 
there!

RON: Lord Voldemort's a snakey  man,
         He's very, very thin.
         You would know him if you saw him,
         For his eyes are blood-shot red.
         His head is full of evil thoughts,
         His wand cast evil spells.
         His clock is musty from neglete,
         His hair's no longer there.
         He sways his head from side to side because he is part snake.
         And when you think he's dead and gone, he's really gaining 
strength!

RON: Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort,
         There's no one like Lord Voldemort.
         For he's a snake in wizard's form,               
        A monster of depravity.
        You may see in an alley,
        Or underneath the stairs,
        But when the Mark's discovered there, Lord Voldemort's not 
there.

HARRY: He never was respectable.

RON: I know, he always cheats at death.

HARRY: And his footprints are not found in any Ministry files.

RON: And when the bank is looted;

HARRY: Or Hogwarts has been rifaled;

RON: Or when Bertha's missing;

HARRY: Or another muggle's stifaled!

RON: Or the wizard world's divided!

HARRY: And the damage passed repair!

RON AND HARRY: There's the wonder of the thing, Lord Voldemort's not 
there.

RON, HARRY and CHORUS start dancing.

ALL TOGETHER: Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort, 
              There's no one like Lord Voldemort.
              There never was a wizard of such deceitfulness 
              and savity.
              He always has an alibi
             And one or two to spare.
             Whatever time the deed to place, 
             Lord Voldemort wasn't there

RON AND HARRY: And they say that all the warlocks whose deeds are 
widely known.

HARRY: I might mention Peter "Wormtail".  

RON: I might mention Lucius Malfoy.

HARRY AND RON: Are nothing more than agents for the one who all the 
time, just controls the operation,
THE NAPOLOEN OF CRIME!

(More dancing around.)

ALL TOGETHER: Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort
              There's no one like Lord Vol-de-mort.
              He's a snake in wizard's form,
              A monster of depravity.
              You may see him in an alley,
              Or underneath the stairs.
              But when the Mark's discovered there:
              Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort,
              Lord Voldemort!
              Lord Voldemort.
                        
RON AND HARRY: When the Mark's discovered there, 
                                 Lord Voldemort's not there!

Fade to black.