That Three-Letter Word

[Eric Oppen]

No: HPFGUIDX 31356

Regarding that evil activity subsumed under The Three-Letter Word (s-x)---I
wouldn't be too worried if I had kids at Hogwarts.  Remember Madam Pomfrey?
When Harry's arm was _deboned_ by that incompetent (this statement has been
censored by the Internet Board of Good Taste) Gilderoy Lockhart, she was
able to put him to rights in a few days with some Skele-Gro.  Were something
of the sort to happen to me in the Muggle world, I'd bet my left lung that
I'd end up as an amputee.

We haven't seen it yet because Harry's had no occasion to find out and
nobody's told him, but I'm sure that Madam Pomfrey has things available to
her that would prevent pregnancy and disease.  As for the emotional
side-effects of That Wicked Activity---look, people, if any of you know how
to raise kids (girls in particular) through the teen years WITHOUT getting a
soggy shoulder or a screaming-at on a regular basis, (whether That Horrid
Stuff is going on or not) talk to me off-list.  We can get together and
write the self-help book that zillions of teenagers' parents have been
clamoring for, and with the great wealth we will earn, send CARE packages to
poor, less-wealthy-than-we'll-be JKR with the magical mantra "Write, J.K,
Write" on the outside.

Of course, Hogwarts food could also have anti s-x or anti-pregnancy and
anti-disease drugs included...some of my friends who were sentenced to...er,
_attended_ boarding schools told me that they were sure the food was laced
with anti-s-x stuff like saltpeter.  Paranthetically, does saltpeter really
lower the libido?  Or is that an old wives' tale?  I'm told it's sort of an
anti-Viagra.