Hermione is a girl

[Elizabeth Dalton]

No: HPFGUIDX 31421

I can't believe I'm getting involved in a shipper debate, as I usually find this
whole topic rather tedious. (I found it tedious when I was 14, too.) But I
thought I'd chime in a bit on this one angle.

raolin.rm writes:

> When Ron does his infamous "Hermione, Neville's right, you *are* a girl" 
> routine, that's just plain rude and annoying, and there's no reason to 
> assume that she must feel annoyed because of her romantic interest in the 
> guy.

Others have disagreed, but I strongly agree. Unsurprisingly, this is due to a
character identification. I know we can't take these things too seriously-- none
of us really know where Rowling has Hermione (or any of the characters) headed.
But for what it's worth, as a youngster, I pretty much *was* Hermione (all
except for being a witch, darnit!). Painfully bright, socially inept, nose
always in a book, know-it-all, bossy, bushy hair, buck teeth. (Arguably, I
haven't outgrown as much of this as I would like. At least my front teeth are
straight now-- by the method Hermione's parents wanted to use.) 

And, most importantly, all my closest friends were male. I never expected (or
even wanted) them to be interested in me as a girl, i.e. romantically. But I do
remember one specific occasion (I was 15 or maybe 16, I believe) in which I had
sort of thought I'd go to a dance with one of my best friends, because I didn't
think he had a girlfriend, and I didn't have a boyfriend, and heck, maybe we
could just go together as friends. Then I introduced him to one of my few female
friends, they clicked, and the next thing I knew, they were talking about going
to this event together. I don't think it ever even occurred to him that I might
have wanted to go at all, let alone with him. I didn't say anything -- I knew
how irrational it was to feel hurt over this. But if his plans had then fallen
through and he'd asked me at the last minute, suddenly saying "Hey, you're a
girl!" I think I would have been easily as irritated and insulted as Hermione
was. I would have felt that he was ignoring our friendship in favor of my
gender. (And considering how much prejudice I was already coming in for, being a
girl interested in science, I don't think I would have taken this well.)

I have no idea how I'd have felt if someone had gone to the great trouble of
following me to the library and putting in a lot of effort to get to know me
through conversation, especially through a language barrier. Nothing like that
happened until I was much older. But I think I can guess that if this *had*
happened, and I'd actually gotten invited to a social event by the fellow in
question, that having one of my friends *then* start acting jealous would be
*extremely* irritating. I accepted my lack of gender in the eyes of my male
friends because it was (I thought at the time) the price of their friendship.
(Think again about that terrified expression on Ron's face when Hermione hugs
him in PoA.) To then have to put up with the negative aspects of romantic
interest (jealousy) without ever having received any of the benefits would be a
bit hard to take.

OTOH, I also sort of understand why Ron said what he said. He's only 14, after
all, and in that sense, his remark is an odd kind of compliment. Viewed from my
present age of 35, I can see that he was able to be friends with Hermione at an
age when gender is often an overwhelming barrier, and never let it affect his
friendship to the point that he honestly forgot about her gender. The feminist
in me applauds. The 14 year old girl still buried inside me wants to weep.

Elizabeth
(Now married to one of her college friends and living happily ever after.)