SHIP: H/H & other thoughts

[Kelley]

No: HPFGUIDX 11924

Hi all.  Sorry for such a delayed reply, Penny.  I'm miles behind...

Penny wrote:
> I think other people have asked the same basic question: 
what "spark" is there between H & H in the canon that would support a 
future pairing?
> The intimation seems to be that they are "boring" together & not 
very entertaining.
> 
> I think again, it really boils down to how one views relationships 
in "real life."  I'm not sure anyone who knows us would look at my 
husband and me and say, "Wow!  They've really got a *spark* in their
> relationship."  I do think, though, that people who know us would 
look at us and say, "They are so happy.  They've got a good solid
> relationship and are obviously meant to be."<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I do agree that this theory has a lot of merit.  I know many couples 
who I would consider well-matched, and of course, they all have their 
spats, bickering, etc.

Penny: 
> Point being: I'm not convinced that the only road to romantic 
happiness & compatibility (and yes, passion) requires fireworks and 
sparks.  In fact, the fireworks and sparks thing just wouldn't have 
suited *my* personality at all.  <g>  My husband and I were good 
friends for quite awhile before our relationship turned to romance.  
It just evolved into the romantic aspect.  It was probably always 
there under the surface, but we just didn't act on it for 
awhile.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I certainly agree, there are many roads to romantic happiness, etc.  
The constant bickering, etc., is exhausting, no question.  Do I 
remember correctly, did you say you and your husband either rarely, 
or have never really had any really big fights?  (Oy, I'm having such 
trouble keeping up... <g>)  As far as any couples I know, the really 
big fights are not regular occurrences, but back and forth bickering 
is faiely regular.  Not anything big that would cause serious damage 
to the relationship; just the day-to-day annoyances of life.  I see 
R/H more in this manner.

Penny:
> That's how I can see H/H.
> They have a solid friendship, common interests and lots of other 
great things, even if there's no classic "spark" in the tradition of 
romantic comedies.  I guess my perception is that some of you believe 
that sparks/bickering/tension = passion.  My take on it is that you 
can have *lots* of passion, even without the sparks & fireworks.  
<vbg> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hehheh, well, no truer testimony than from someone's who's been 
there, eh?  I don't think the arguing, etc., equals passion, 
necessarily, but often it does seem to accompany it.  I think it's 
more to do with both people having and expressing strong feelings and 
opinions.  Of course, you can have this without the fireworks, too, 
but just as often successful relationships include this.  With H & H, 
though, I see the solid friendship, but not the common interests so 
much.  Seems Ron and Harry have far more common interests than 
Hermione with either guy... 
 
Penny:
> I don't imagine R/H *always* bickering.  But, they bicker & spat 
back & forth more than I would care to.  It is admittedly 
the "defining" characteristic of their relationship in my mind.  I 
don't necessarily see them having loads of "fun," like some of the 
R/H types see.  They seem to me to disagree fairly often.  For 
example -- the giants and the house elves.  Ron has a typical "grew 
up in the wizarding world" view of house elves & the giants.  
Hermione has a totally different perspective.  It just seems like 
there are so many issues of this nature that would make their pairing 
hard to sustain over the long haul.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Actually, when I think of R/H being more 'fun', I mean for me as a 
reader.  As to the giants and the house elves, perhaps an alternative 
way to see their opposing veiwpoints is that they both can learn a 
lot from the other.
 
Penny:
> I like romantic comedies, but I don't see them as particularly
> realistic.  I just don't honestly know that many people who fall 
into that category.  They are funny and entertaining .... but in my 
mind, they are barely distinguishable from fantasy.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Well, admittedly, I don't know any real-life couples who are 
significantly similar to movie couples.  From what I've seen and 
know, bickering seems to be part of almost any relationship, though.  
Sort of the 'Harry met Sally' thing; look how nice their relationship 
ended up.  I have heard of couples who say they both got on each 
other's nerves when they first met, then ended up in love.  It 
happens how it happens, I guess.
 
Penny: 
> Anyway .... that's just my take on it.  I really do think it's just 
a matter of how each individual approaches romantic relationships in 
their own life -- it colors your perception of what would make the 
characters most happy.  So many of us on both sides of the fence 
identify with Hermione, but we just disagree about what the 
right "type" of romantic relationship is best for her.<<<<<<<<<<<<

True.  I suppose I like that she's so independent and strong as a 
person.  Someone like that may just as likely seek out a relationship 
with someone who doesn't agree on every issue (kind of would keep her 
on her toes, you know?), as they would seek out a like-minded 
partner.  Radically different beliefs are usually quite difficult to 
overcome, but as they're still only kids, their opinions are still 
forming.  I can see R/H having a nice balancing effect on each other.

Penny:
> As for imagining how they might be in a future pairing, I don't 
know if you're one of those who avoids fanfic at all costs, but give 
PoU a try.  I know several people have said that they liked PoU but 
still didn't "believe" in the H/H pairing.  That's fair -- but 
personally, PoU is exactly what I imagine a future H/H pairing could 
be like.  But, to each his own.  <g>  If you *haven't* read it and 
are interested in seeing what a future H/H pairing might look like, I 
recommend it.
> 
> Penny

Hehheh, ooooo, the H/H bible...<eg>  Actually, I've printed it out, 
but have held off reading it.  I've been trying to hold out 'til my 
HP jones gets the best of me.  Guess I'll give in before long...

Kelley