Bumbling Schaferisms, Percian perversions, evil females

[Tabouli]

No: HPFGUIDX 23077

Morgan:
>> "The word Dumbledore sounds like a contortion of 'bumblebee'

(objections snipped)

> Actually, this idea is not as ill-formed as you seem to think.  Dumbledore *is* extremely close to the Old
> English word for bumblebee, oddly enough. The etymology might be intuitive, but it's nigh well spot on. 

Nay, O Morgan, you underestimate my nitpickery... as I think Craig pointed out, there are dozens of sources, both primary and secondary, web and snail, which proclaim that JKR *deliberately chose* the Old English word for bumblebee.  To be honest, if this *weren't* the case, the similarity between "Dumbledore" and "bumblebee" isn't to my mind great enough to warrant Schafer's contortion comment.  What I took from this sentence was that Schafer had done a cursory glance around the internet and vaguely remembered something about "bumblebee" somewhere, couldn't be bothered checking what or where it was, and bunged in the contortion line as a stopgap measure.  Which is all very well if one is quoting from canon on HP4G (she says hastily!), but a bit rich coming from a PhD-wielding specialist in children's literature supposedly writing a researched reference book.

The book is full of things like this... not gross inaccuracies, but distortions (contortions, even!) and misrepresentations just continual and inaccurate enough to be annoying.  For example: "Harry, Ron and Hermione demonstrate self-discipline to excel at their studies to become effective wizards"  (well maybe, at a stretch, but surely this really only applies to Hermione except when something like a Triwizard task crops up).

More irritating still, she can't seem to decide whether she's behind a lectern, in a pulpit, or sprouting sentimental words of wisdom at the end of a chat show.  Some more choice samples:

"Harry's mother's name was Lily, a symbol of rebirth and peace, whose beautiful flower blooms aloft a tall stem reaching toward the light."  (and Harry, the fruit that arose from this blossom like dawn over snow-dusted mountains, yearns like the seed bourne far away on autumn winds for the shelter of her petals, but is destined to sprout alone on bleak and motherless soils, harried, as his name alludes, by the chill winds of orphandom...)

"His donning of the Invisibility Cloak symbolizes Harry's new identity, maturity and healthy self-esteem" (one wonders how this fits in with her later sweeping comments about the cloak symbolising the Shroud of Turin.  But wait!  The biblical parallels get better still...)

"Harry can also be regarded as a medieval crusader, draped in symbolic robes in quest of the Holy Grail.  As a Seeker, Harry battles heretics during games of Quidditch (!).  His accident symbolizes a fall from grace before he can rise again as a worthy spiritual leader.  Avoiding the fate of Lot's wife who turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at Sodom, Harry leaves the Quidditch field with his face forward, avoiding glancing to either side." (one can only wish that she read HP as thoroughly as she evidently reads her Bible).

"Slytherin's initials, S.S., suggest Nazi stormtroopers, and the moniker Ravenclaw is similar to the name of the Ravensbrueck concentration camp."

I could rant for pages on this talentless tome, but I have ranted enough.  Suffice to say I don't recommend it (unless you find the above amusing/appalling enough to be worth a look!)

Suzanne:
> * Errr.... Maybe Percy is a bit kinkier than any of us suspect. Stealing into the infirmary to kiss his 
beloved who lies petrified.... Yaagh, Percy, how Gothic of you!

I chuckle evilly!  I confess to some curiosity about this Percy/Penny combination: what do you people think Penny's like, to fall for Percy?  Ew.  And for those of you who are hoping to extract a touch of homosexual content, what do you make of Percy's obsession with Crouch in GoF?  Crush, almost?  Has Penny departed the scene, or gone off to a witch finishing school or something?  

Also, note the parallel between Ron's narrow eyed scowling at Krum and Hermione at the Yule Ball (jealousy definitely implied) and the Same Expression being worn by Karkaroff as he watches them.  Could this be not just concern at the security risk of fraternising with Hogwarts students, but also because Karkaroff has the hots for Krum and is feeling possessive??? Ahaaaa again!  Karkaroff is certainly blatant about his favoritism of Krum, and most solicitous about his comfort.  Tsk tsk.  A gay Karkaroff could spawn all manner of theories.  Perhaps, as a bitter and closeted teenager, he turned to Voldemort as a channel for his anger and frustration, only to find himself among a group even more intolerant and prejudiced than the one he'd escaped.  Backpedalling in fright, he decided to metaphorically come out of the Azkaban closet, confess, and "out" all the other Death Eaters, before slinking off to Eastern Europe to run a school where he could ogle young Quidditch players in peace...

(Hey, step aside Schafer, here I come!)

Also Suzanne:
> BTW, I remember way back that there was a rumor that JKR would introduce a really evil femaile character in GoF. 

Despite my own mixed relationship with feminism, the lack of significant female characters has always bugged me slightly about the series, and this goes for the evil characters as well (though Rita was a nice touch!).  Why have we seen only one female Death Eater?  Doesn't Voldemort think many women are up to the job, just as Slytherin has no female Quidditch players?  Is there a glass ceiling on the Death Eater corporate ladder??

Joywitch:
> if you hang around here for any length of time you will hear plenty of speculation, mostly along the lines that James and Lily > were Aurors, or possibly Unspeakables, who were hot on the trail of Voldy.

I lean towards the Voldemort slaying the last heir of Gryffindor theory, myself, with a weakness for the "Prof Trelawney's first correct prediction" avenue.  I'm sure Schafer could dig up a King Herod parallel there.  And I love the idea that Godric himself turned into Fawkes (though I'd guess the transformation would have to be permanent for Godric to live a phoenix lifespan.  Remember that Scabbers was living out a Wormtail-length lifespan).  Fawkes *is* red and gold, after all...

Tabouli.


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