SHIPPING of Love and War

[linman6868 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 21002

Hi --

You know, I wrote a perfectly *brilliant* response to this topic last 
night, but Yahoo! and AOL between them lost it!  ;)

So here goes again, going over Niagara Falls in a barrel on a 
shipping post, for heaven's sake (I guess a good night's sleep didn't 
restore my sanity.  Oh well.  Like I'm surprised or anything.)

Ebony wrote yesterday:

> You see, after nearly a year of contemplation of the matter, I do 
think that 
> it's not the bickering that bothers me most about R/H.  It's their 
> personalities.
> 
> Ron at this point in canon has many merits as a character, but you 
must 
> admit that he is needy.  Perhaps he'll grow out of this.  My RL 
experiences 
> with this personality type indicate to me otherwise... we all carry 
ghosts 
> of childhood along with us, however deep they're buried.

> All the Rons I've ever known in real life are nice enough people, 
but they 
> like not only to be their significant other's first priority, but 
the vast 
> majority of it.

A point well taken.  If Ron and Hermione entered into a relationship 
immediately post-GoF, it would be a bad thing.  Hermione would be 
forced to bear the brunt of Ron's growths and recidivisms, and 
nobody, whatever their age, can sustain another person's sense of 
well-being in that fashion.  However, no such relationship has 
developed, and even in the Yule Ball episode, Ron's neediness does 
not *center* on Hermione, though it may momentarily hit her the 
hardest.  

For interpreting Ron's interest in Hermione at this point, I think 
it's best to read what's happening with Ron in the Yule Ball episode 
in the context of what's just been happening.  Ron's self-confidence 
is already very off-balance:  he's let his best friend down by giving 
in to envy of Harry's public recognition, fought with him over it, 
and made Harry so mad at him that it looked like Harry might not 
forgive him.  Surely Ron even in his most envious private moments 
would never want to do this.  It probably is, in fact, why Ron let 
the weight of his envy build up as much as it did -- he cares about 
Harry and he cares about his relationship with Harry, so naturally, 
envious thoughts are traitorous and the only thing to do with them is 
stuff them down, right?  Wrong.  Ron was seriously wrong about the 
way he handled his latent envy of Harry, and now he knows it.  So 
what does he do?  He gets defensive with Hermione after the first 
task; he practically kills himself to be helpful and encouraging to 
Harry all through the preparation for the second task; he hopes Mad-
Eye Moody will tell him he has the makings of an Auror; he is eager 
to dump off the wrongness onto Karkaroff, the ex-Death Eater, and 
Percy, the pompous junior official.  What Ron wants more than 
anything in this book is to be right, to be spectacularly right, and 
to be recognized for it.  He might have known this looking into the 
Mirror of Erised; he might have known it during the Crookshanks War; 
but now that he's been so spectacularly *wrong*, it really sinks in.  

Sure, he may have feelings for Hermione, but they really are IMO 
taking a back seat to his consuming inner struggle.  I'm willing to 
bet that if someone went to Ron after the Yule Ball and said, "Hey 
mate, wake up, you have feelings for Hermione," Ron would be more 
likely to say (after saying, "You're barking!" of course), "Man, I 
don't need this.  Make it stop!" than to start whining because 
Hermione doesn't pay enough attention to him.  

I'm actually impressed with Ron for beginning to face up to himself 
this early in life.  I mean, I've known 24- and 34- and 44- and 74-
year-old needy people and they haven't learned much.  A needy person 
can mend (I have known one that did), but I don't know many who begin 
to go through this struggle at 14.  Ron's stumbling apology to Harry, 
his finally-honest admission to his friends that he hates being poor, 
his asking Krum for his autograph, are evidences to me, not that we 
all finally know he's a big whiner and is going to stay that way, but 
that the door is now open for him to come into his own -- which will 
most certainly take courage.  But he's in Gryffindor, the house of 
courage.

> R/H may be inevitable in canon.  No non-R/H shipper disputes that.  
But the 
> only way I can see R/H lasting for any significant amount of time 
is if 
> fundamental aspects of their personalities change.  But then, Ron 
wouldn't 
> be Ron, and Hermione wouldn't be Hermione... 

Since you invoked CSL, I'll only say, "Nothing is yet in its true 
form," which goes for the friendship as well as any possible romances.

> I agree with C. S. Lewis (*must* do the Four Loves essay-post this 
summer... 
> :::makes mental note to self:::)  Friendship is based on common 
ground... 
> shared interests.  (QUESTION:  What is the basis of Ron and 
Hermione's 
> friendship?  

A lot of people answered this question *much* better than I did in my 
*brilliant* lost post <wink>, so I won't wrangle with Lewis and 
Philia and Eros today.  Maybe on OTChatter...

Okay, I guess I've fallen off the lighthouse on Cape Hatteras and am 
now bobbing in the water in my little barrel (Lord help me).

Lisa I.