Order of Merlin, First Class Acceptance Speech (part 2)

[Neil Ward]

No: HPFGUIDX 13768

Sister Mary Lunatic wrote:

<< The Ministry of Magic proudly awards the Order of Merlin, First Class, to
<snip> [list of moderators]

John Celine Dion Crazy Ivan Walton said:

<<<::approaches podium flanked by the other Mods, grabs the microphone and
 pulls off coat to reveal the Celine Dion drag-clad Russian Cabin Boy::

 Thank you, thank you, thank you, there's a whole team behind us, I'd like
to thank the people at YahooGroups for constant amusement; our Manager,
Holotta
Lafs; our Medical team, led by the Dishy Dr Branford, soon to appear on ER
[oohs and aahs from crowd] yeah yeah, calm down. I'd also like to thank our
house-elves and my personal Secret Secluded Sex Room Slaves. (aside: What? I
can't say that onlist? Damn...) I will now do a charming Medley of Caius'
Filks. Thank you and good night. ::hands microphone over::>>>

*****

Flying Ford Anglia grabs the microphone and tosses aside velvet cape and
hairnet to reveal a capacious floor-length gown of pink silk (borrowed from
the Fat Lady) and a hairdo of Titian ringlets.  Waits for John to stop
catterwauling his way through Caius' back-catalogue... looks at watch...taps
foot....grows attractive but unruly beard...

Days later, he takes the podium:

"Dear, dear friends, listees and multiplying acquaintances, I'm filling up,
honest to goodness.  But, if I could just mention a few people.. [unfurls
huge roll of parchment].... it isn't *just* us Moderators you know.  As my
ladyboy friend here hinted, there are a gaggle of other notable Mugwumps
working behind the scenes to make your Potter obessession as rumple-free as
possible.  Allow me to expand:

Apart from the hardy scrutineering skills and other talents of the
aforementioned Dr Simon Branford, we should mention the legal observations
of Madam Tandy from the Department of Magical Law and the mysterious
technical wizardry of Dr Kippes of the Sub-Committee for Plugs and
Batteries.  Then there is Mistress Ebony - Ships' Counsellor and co-editress
of our (coming soon) newsletter - who refuses to wear the Deanna Troi
outfit, and who can blame her?   And, of course, special mention must go out
to Keeper of the Canon, Lexicon Maestro, Professor Steve Vander Ark.

We are also thankful for the occasional use of the magical eye and wit of
Aberforth's Goat and the bodice-ripping assistances of Mistress Estes (wife
of Randemort) and Mistress McNie in our FAQ dungeons  [dabs eyes with
lace-edged hankie].   Oh...and how could we do less than give hearty thanks
to the misty ministrations of Catlady de Los Angeles and Gypsy Caine in the
castle chatroom and to Madam Joywitch in the art of cauldron-stirring and
erstwhile chasing of the weekly inscriptions?  Finally, and by no means
least, a 'big up' to my Mother, who sewed all the sequins on my
underskirt... yo, Momma!"

Speech over, Flying Ford Anglia joins the Celine Dion Cabin Boy in a beery
rendition of "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves," which brings the crowd
out of their trance-like stupor.  Behind them, a frowning Madam Linsenmayer
is seen holding up a placard, bearing the glowing words: "OFF TOPIC!"
Looking sheepish, all exuant to
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPFGU-OTChatter to join all the other list
members who have obediently joined that group so that they can post
off-topic remarks there rather than here ... or risk a very nasty scalding
under the fierce headlights of Flying Lord Angliamort...

Neil
________________________________________

Flying Ford Anglia
Mechanimagus Moderator

"Krum, his red robes shining with blood from his nose,
was rising gently into the air, his fist held high, a glint
of gold in his hand." ["The Quidditch World Cup", GoF]

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