The Office of Dumbledore (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 14108

The Office of Dumbledore

(To the tune of In the Cool Cool Cool of the Evening)

(The Scene: Before  the office of the Hogwarts Headmaster Albus 
Dumbledore.  Enter his two most enthusiastic disciples, RUBEUS HAGRID 
& HARRY POTTER)

BOTH:
It's cool, cool cool in the office of Albus Dumbledore 
It's full of magical treasures from the ceiling to the floor
You never know what you'll find there when you open up his door

HAGRID
Come on in for peek 
As we quietly sneak 
Past his paintings as they snore. 

HARRY (taking the HAT off a shelf)
Here is the sorting hat
It may look sorta flat
But it put each kid where he's at

SORTING HAT
I might not be made of silk 
But I know the wizard ilk
I even do my own filks

HARRY
This hat came in quite handy 
In Riddle's secret den

SORTING HAT
And I have told you lately
How great you'd do in Slytherin?

(HARRY turns the hat inside-out, and throws it back on the shelf)

BOTH
It's cool, cool cool in the office of Albus Dumbledore 
No matter how often we come here, there's more things to explore 
The only thing that it's lacking is a raven croaking
"Nevermore"

HARRY
All its gizmos so flimsy 
Are chockfull of whimsy 
To augment its décor 

HAGRID (approaching Fawkes)
Don't reach for a Kleenix 
If you see his Phoenix 
In smoke and ashes dissolved

HARRY
And don't be surprised, my friend 
When you see him arise again,
That's just the way they evolved

HAGRID
It's a bird of beauty 
Of color and of fire
And when he croons he can outdo
The Tabernacle Choir

BOTH
It's no day care school in the Pensieve of Albus Dumbledore 
Although they're not that expensive
Just a dollar ninety-four
The flashback effects are intensive as dire issues are explored

HARRY
You see inside his mind
As his thoughts all rewind
To show what happened long before.

BOTH 
There's many a jewel in the office of Albus Dumbledore
It's the center of the resistance against Lord Voldemort 
Whenever Hogwarts' in crisis
Or there's a problem too hardcore

HARRY
If it's a magical diary

HAGRID
A dragon too fiery

HARRY
A message from Black

HAGRID
A Dementor attack 

HARRY
A stone needs to be hid

HAGRID
Or to stone's turned a kid

HARRY
If Snape's in a snit

HAGRID
Or if Fudge throws a fit

ALL (including HAT & PHOENIX) 
Just look for Albus Dumbledore!

    - CMC