Plop Some Silver Digits (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 28992

Plop Some Silver Digits (GoF, Chap. 33)

(To the tune of Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ol' Oak Tree)

Dedicated to Pippin

THE SCENE: The Cemetery at Little Hangleton. LORD VOLDEMORT, 
who "rewards his helpers," is about to do his good deed for the day.

VOLDEMORT 
I've come back strong, I'm full of vim
Along the way I lopped off a few limbs
Wormtail, who's so worthless, of his right paw he's free
Good thing I know just what he needs
But soon he'll see firsthand
What Lord Voldy has planned
..

I'll plop some silver digits on ol' Peter P. 
Let his hand glitter like posh cutlery
When he receives this hand-out he'll be so obliged to me
He'll once more succumb
To my rule of thumb
With a brand-new pinky
A metallic glove that he'll just love now goes to Peter P.

(When VOLDEMORT waves his wand, a streak of molten silver forms into 
the shape of a hand, attaching itself to WORMTAIL's wrist)

WORMTAIL
Master, I couldn't be much prouder
Twigs I can now crush into a powder
I'm like ol' Doctor Strangelove
Or that Edward Scissorhands
I'm in awe of this magic claw, I'm eager to glad-hand...
The fingers you gave me



DEATH EATERS
He's plunked some silver digits on ol' Peter P. 
Will he be that kind to non-amputees?
As he waxes nostalgic, I hope he's not mad at me
Don't wanna be next
To get hit by a hex
I said I was sorry
Let all bygones please be withdrawn, we plead with the Big V. 

WORMTAIL
Now the Death Eaters are gawking
And I can't believe his pride
He's telling me that Potter from the tomb must be untied

ALL
Untie Harry from the old tombstone
Untie Harry from the old tombstone 
Untie Harry from the old tombstone

Fade-out, as WORMTAIL unties Harry, and gives him back his wand

  -  CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm