Death Eaters (was: Azkaban and wizard prisons/wizard lawyers)

[Eric Oppen]

No: HPFGUIDX 25767

>    Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2001 05:36:09 -0000
>    From: "Catlady (Rita Prince Winston)" <catlady at wicca.net>
> Subject: Re: Death Eaters (was: Azkaban and wizard prisons/wizard lawyers
>
> --- In HPforGrownups at y..., "Eric Oppen" <oppen at c...> wrote:
>
> > I thought it was an honestly iffy question whether Bagman was or
> > was not an actual DE.  I wonder what would have happened if the
> > court had received a sworn statement from Voldemort
>
> Is there anything in wizarding law that stipulates that oaths sworn
> by Evil Wizards and Lords of Lies are worthless?

1) As far as I know, Voldemort's vices do not include _lying._  Killing,
torturing, raising seventeen kinds of jolly havoc, plotting to rule the
world---all there, present-and-accounted-for.  However, so far we have not
seen him _lie._   If anything, he's quite truthful---he says he wants to
rule the world.  He says he wants to torture Muggles and Mudbloods.

2)  Do YOU want to tell him that his word's worthless?  Hello, lily pad!

>
> > to the effect:  "No, Bagman is _not_ a Death Eater.  Death Eaters,
> > after all, are the _elite,_
>
> Elite like Crabbe Sr and Goyle Sr?

We don't know _why_ Voldemort had Things To Say about their prior
performance.  All it might have taken was _one_ mistake on their
part---Voldemort does not strike me as the sort of Evil Overlord-type who's
exactly understanding about things like that.  Also, Voldemort does not
strike me as the sort of gifted person who's at all likely to understand
that things _he_ does easily might be hard for the less gifted...the gods
know I had to deal with _that_ often enough in school; just because my
friends could play ball well, they expected me to do so as well.

Also, Voldemort could have been referring to things other than
mistakes---are Crabbe and Goyle Sr. a bit _soft_ by DE standards?  "What do
you MEAN, you let some of them go?  I don't _care_ that you held 99% of them
down and then forcefed them British school food---when I say I want _all_
the Muggles tortured, I mean _ALL_ of them!  Why am I surrounded by such
incompetent fools?"


>
> >  Kindly do not insult me this way again, unless you fancy spending
> > the rest of your lives on lily pads.  Yours with utter contempt,
> > LORD VOLDEMORT."
>
> btw LOL
>

I don't know about you, but insulting a live Lord Voldemort does not strike
me as the path to a long, happy life.  I'd rather have a velociraptor come
home from a hard day at the swamp to find me smoking his cigars, wearing his
pajamas, and introducing his womenfolk to the delights of non-Euclidean
s*xual practices.  I'd _almost_ rather wake up, the Morning After The Night
Before, with a pounding hangover and no memory of what happened, to find
Professor Trelawney lying beside me wearing a wedding ring.  *glyph of me
doing the "Home Alone" poster-type scream*