Tango: Hermy (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 37459

Tango: Hermy

(To the tune of Tango: Maureen from the musical Rent)

>From a suggestion by Lisa Inman 

THE SCENE: The Quidditch playing fields of Hogwarts.  On broomstick 
are HARRY and VIKTOR KRUM.  At HARRY's request, KRUM is teaching him 
how to properly execute the Wronski Feint. During the music, HARRY 
and KRUM fly around one another in a simulation of tango dancers, 
with the Bludgers and the Snitch flitting about in time with the 
music.

HARRY
The Bludgers won't delay
But the Quaffle-

KRUM
There's another way
Fly upwards -- anywhere

HARRY
Right! - one, two three --

(A Bludger almost creams Harry)

KRUM
Anywhere but there
This is weird

HARRY
It's weird?

KRUM
Very weird

HARRY (to himself)
Blinkin' weird

KRUM
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with Karkaroff
Wishing he'd bugger off
And to top it all off
There's that girl

She ignites such a spark
That for her I'd turned shark 
She's the one who once turned the time, you see 

HARRY
You're now a believah 
In that most learnèd diva
It's called the Tango Hermy

BOTH
The Tango Hermy!
It's deft dizzy Jeopardy game

HARRY
It's a hedgehog pincushion
..

KRUM (spoken)
You're right

HARRY

.that won't ever stop pushin'

KRUM (spoken)
No different with me

HARRY
There's just no holding back
As each fact she attacks 
She's all almanac and all woman

KRUM
I think she's the girl fer me

BOTH
The Tango Hermy!

KRUM
Has she ever heaved a great sigh 
And cried out, "Ronald"?

HARRY (spoken)
Never.

KRUM
Could she ever go for a guy
Who talks like Ahnold?

HARRY
We've been friends ever since she was rescued from troll disaster
But we're friends, nothing more


KRUM
                             
.it is clear none have surpassed her.

HARRY (spoken)
It's hard to fly this backwards

KRUM (spoken)
You should try it with Veelas!

HARRY (music)
That Skeetah

KRUM
She defeated 

HARRY
She gets heated 
If a sweet elf gets mistreated

KRUM
Should I join up with SPEW?

HARRY
When you meet in libraries
Is she yet unaware she 
Casts this love charm on you?

BOTH
With her teeth set so straight
She allures like pure fate
As a portent of great mystery 
While whole chapters she quotes
Which she has learned by rote
In that Hogwarts: A History

HARRY
The Tango Hermy
.
Who knows if she'll take Ron or take you
.

KRUM
Just came here for a trophy 
For the folks back in Sofia*

BOTH
But there's only one prize
It's the brain with brown eyes

KRUM
Oh my chum I've succumbed 
Yes it's true

HARRY
So even though she's skinny

KRUM
And though her voice sounds tinny

(Harry perfectly executes the Wronski Feint)

HARRY (spoken)
Missed the pitch!

KRUM
My Herm-own-ninny 
   
HARRY (spoken)
Matched!

KRUM (spoken)
Good!

HARRY (spoken)
You know - I feel great now! 

KRUM (spoken)
I feel
.Krummy

BOTH (music)
The Tango Hermy!

  - CMC

*Sophia is the capital of Bulgaria

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm