Computer calamities, acronym angst, house elf speculation

[Tabouli]

No: HPFGUIDX 37472

Alas!  Computer woes have struck on the Good Ship... (to avoid nautical exploits, skip to "*********")

Grey Wolf:
> The moon is high, and the great wolf rises his muzzle 
to bay triumphantly to the moon. One acronym has bypassed her security 
measures! Some day, not today, nor tomorrow, but some day, he'll be 
able to discover how TAGS works, and he'll be able to build his own 
version (operable by paws, of course).<

Just as she is putting away her acronym generator for the night, a distant sound freezes Captain Tabouli's blood.  It is the howl of a wolf, echoing in her cabin like a funeral bell.  She tries to put it from her mind, but the spectre of the Great Saladic Prophecy rises up before her... "The wolf bodes ill, O captain grave/ When moonlight waneth in the sky/ His howl may lock thee in a grave/ Where all can hear, yet none reply."

Trying to snort away the follies of superstition, the Captain decides to ascend to the deck for a breath of air.  She reaches for the door handle but it does not turn.  She is locked into her cabin.  Insisting to herself that this could just be a crew member's prank, she runs to the porthole.  Theory Bay laps gently at the glass beneath a waning crescent moon.  A shiver runs through her, but all is not lost, not yet.  She has a microphone in her cabin, from which she can send the crew messages over the PA system.  Trying to remain calm, she extracts it from behind her espionage files and makes the following announcement:

"This is your Captain speaking.  Unfortunately, my email is not currently receiving messages, and has not been for some time.  Please do not be alarmed if I do not answer any private emails you may have sent me during this time, as I have not received them or indeed anything for two days.  I am currently tracking down the culprits (starting with a call to my ISP), and reassure you that normal TAGS service will be resumed as soon as possible."

Grey Wolf:
> Tabouli, you missed one of the acronyms that popped up 
while you were away. It was proposed by my adversary in the discussion 
of elves's enslavement (nº 37112), Laura (which was nice of her, since 
it's the acronym for MY theory, which she didn't believe in):

Laura proposed:
> E.N.S.L.A.V.E.M.E.N.T (Elves Need Slavery Least Aggression and 
> Violence Erupt, Making Extinction Near Threat)

Perspiring slightly, the Captain is about to start pacing the room in agitation, when something new catches her eye.  It is a message in her intray she is *sure* wasn't there a couple of hours ago.  It gloats at the fact that she failed to respond to another acronym request, and is signed with a large and sinister paw-print.  A second shiver joins the first, which has been wandering around the Captain's body ever since she heard the howl. Cut off from her spies and allies, she is helpless to retaliate.  A prisoner on her own Ship, she sits staring and staring at this ominous new message...

*********
Well well, O lupine one!  House elves, eh?  Are you saying that Winky and Dobby are, deep down, creatures of violence and ill-will?   Hmmm.  Well, maybe.  It seems clear, at least, that they have strong magical powers, apparently stronger than the powers of wizards.  There are hints that Dobby is able to do something similar to Apparating *within Hogwarts*, and instill fear in none other than Lucius Malfoy, all without the benefit of a wand!  Impressive.

I don't know that I'd go so far as to say the house-elves *need* to be enslaved, but certainly evidence that they'd make bad enemies.  And excellent allies, if their masters and mistresses could get them all moving in the same direction.  Perhaps Dobby's emancipation is foreshadowing a house-elf revolution, where the freed elves of Dark Wizards could join the war against Voldemort, led by Dobby!

There's only one problem with this plan.  Brains.  How smart do people think house-elves are?  It's possible that their dubious grammar is in fact a valid species dialect, that Dobby's loud shrieking at the Dursleys was just his being overcome with emotion, or their blind loyalty to the point of self-mutilation bespeaks a huge sense of duty rather than a tiny amount of sense, but I do wonder.  I suppose if JKR is making an allegorical point about slavery their behaviour would need to reflect a lack of opportunity for education and self-actualisation, rather than actual lack of ability.  Certainly once Dobby decides to act as a free agent he's pretty crafty, if a bit misguided.

Which is why my fledgeling thoughts on the house-elf/Wizard relationship are that it is symbiotic... the Wizard is the brain of the relationship and the house-elves the magical "brawn", so to speak.  It's just that over time the wizards discovered that the house-elves were so awed by wizards that they were prepared to do all their dirty work, and eventually did, becoming slaves.

Not a theory I've explored at length, just a musing.

The other point I'm musing on here is the wand issue.  Wizards can do magic without wands under some circumstances, house-elves can under all circumstances and are indeed forbidden from using wands (probably because their native power is too great and make end in disaster).  What about other sentient magical creatures?  From GoF, it appears that mermaids can't do magic (IIRC), phoenixes have some magic, how about centaurs and acromantulas and so on??

Tabouli (going off to ring her ISP and Demand Answers...)

P.S.  Oh yes, as for slavery as a means of keeping elfin violence under control, yes, it's possible that these obviously dangerous, puissant creatures are being S.U.P.P.R.E.S.S.E.D. (Slavery Usurps Perilous Powers, Rendering Elves Simple, Self-Effacing Drudges)...


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