FILK: Owl Post Calling

[marinafrants]

No: HPFGUIDX 37631

Owl Post Calling
To the tune of "London Calling" by the Clash

Scene: Vernon Dursley watches with dread as an endless succession of
owls delivers an endless succession of letters to #4 Privet Drive. 
The dread only grows when the owls start singing to an ominous
punk-rock beat.

OWLS:
Owl Post calling with important news
For that unwanted nephew whom you abuse
Owl Post calling, by day and by night
Let him out of the cupboard, start treating him right
Owl Post calling, don't bother to hide
His magical heritage won't be denied
Owl Post calling, don't try to complain
Just get his ass on that big red train

VERNON
The letters keep coming, they litter the floor
Slipping through windows, sliding under the door
They make demands, but I refuse to care
That runt will stay put underneath the stairs

On further consideration, Vernon decides to board up the house and
move Harry to Dudley's spare bedroom.  The Owl Post, however, is not
so easily put off.

OWLS
Owl Post calling, we're all gonna zoom
On that kid you've got hid in your smallest room
Owl Post calling, we're in hot pursuit
Your efforts at hiding will bear no fruit
Owl Post calling, so be afraid
We're gonna keep coming till delivery's made
Owl Post calling, we're filling the skies
With swooping wide wings and big yellowy eyes

VERNON
The owls are still coming, they're driving me mad
They frighten the neighbors, they make us look bad
An avian terror invading our lives
Magic has come to Number 4 Privet Drive

Vernon bundles his family into the car and attempts to escape, only to
discover that the Owl Post will find you *anywhere*.

OWLS
Owl Post calling with a message of note
For that boy you've got stashed in a cabin remote
Owl Post calling, we ain't gonna stop
So you might as well give up!

Marina
rusalka at ix.netcom.com