BIG PROBLEM WITH FOURTH MAN! HELP!

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 38147

Goodness!  I look away for a few moments and before you know it, the 
Fourth Man hovercraft is taking on water.  Ice cold water, no less.  
And from an attack from *within*, a trusted but disloyal member of 
the original kayak crew!  Eileen, a reliable but decidedly nervous 
Fourth Man passenger, is attempting to scuttle Fourth Man 
singlehandedly, and she seems to be hogging all of the GIANTCUSHION 
flotation devices as well.  

Well, what we need here is a theory to bail out Fourth Man.  

***************

Eileen attacked:

> > He said the fourth man is obviously the third Death Eater, dead 
in 
> > Voldemort's service. And the more I thought about this the more 
> > horrifically it made sense. 
> 

Charis Julia howled:


> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! No! No, no, no, no, no! Not Fourth Man, no! I 
like 
> Fourth Man! 


Yes, despite my open hostility to Fourth Man and all of his groveling 
and whining, he is worth saving, I think.  Charis Julia has done all 
of the hard canon work, thank goodness.

Charis Julia:

> Right. DE roll—call:
 
<snip>
 
> II) Dead:
> Evan Rosier, Wilkies, Quirrell.


All right.  I'm thinking this category of "Dead" might be the key to 
saving Fourth Man from the Dastardly Third Man variant:

  "And here we have six missing Death Eaters . . . three dead in my 
service."

Now, I'm not buying Quirrell as a DE.  I mean, Quirrell was probably 
an innocent dupe.  If Quirrell is a DE, then wouldn't Snape know 
this?  Or, at least, Quirrell and/or Voldemort ought to be 
sufficiently worried about this not to try to steal the stone in 
PS/SS.  I think Quirrell is just like Bertha -- strolling through the 
forest and in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If so, then I have an open slot for a dead DE.  How exciting!  Who 
would that be?  Crouch Jr., of course.  See, Voldemort isn't stupid.  
Well, maybe he is.  But he's smart enough not to reveal to the DEs 
that Crouch Jr. is alive.  Voldemort tells his DEs in the graveyard 
that there are three dead DEs knowing full well that the number is 
only two.  He's covering for Crouch Jr., which is kind of touching in 
a demented sort of way.

That's when it gets interesting.  If Voldemort has slotted Crouch Jr. 
among the dead, then who is the faithful servant at Hogwarts?  Um.  
Wow.  That's a toughie, isn't it?

It's Snape, of course!  Finally, we have proof positive that Snape is 
not really a spy for Dumbledore, but is a double agent for 
Voldemort.  Boy, Dumbledore is really going to feel silly when he 
finds this out, don't ya think?  I mean, Dumbledore trusted Snape for 
no good reason, and look how it is going to end up.

So then.  Fourth Man is alive and well (although still rather whiny); 
Third Man is DOA; Snape is Ever So Evil; Fudge is Ever So Evil; Moody 
is Ever So Evil; the whole thing is sufficiently Bangy; and all is 
right with the wizarding world.

Cindy