SHIP: CUPID'SBLUDGER & Fourth Man Variants

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 38272

Charis Julia wrote:

> See, the main problem with the Pillow Talk Theory is that if Sirius 
> really did run straight to his old flame Arabella as soon as he 
> escaped from Azkaban and if Arabella really had heard him out, then 
> why didn't she simply put him on a leash, trot over to the Weasleys 
> for a visit and ask to see their rat? 

Boy, that Sirius and Arabella Pillow Talk idea sure did stink the 
place up, eh?  Yes.  Well.  It was a test, see.  I wanted to make 
sure everyone understood that, uh, these theories are clever and all, 
but they, er, have to make *sense*. Canon and all, don't ya know.  
Yes, very good.  You all pass.

The only way the Pillow Talk idea works is if, uh, there wasn't a 
whole lot of *talking* going on between Sirius and Arabella.  You 
know what I mean there.  I mean, you're not going to make me *say* 
it, are you?  I don't think Sirius is that kind of guy.  Sirius is a 
Dead Sexy Gentlemen.  

So we are left with . . . well . . . nothing really.  Boy, this is so 
embarrassing.

Can't we talk about something else?  Like LOLLIPOPS?  Trapezoid?  
Anything?

************

OK, how about this?  I'm not quite finished with Fourth Man.  You 
remember Fourth Man, don't you?  Uh, how would I describe Fourth 
Man?  Um.  Geez, where *are* the Fourth Man experts when you need 
them?  Me, I majored in ToadKeeper with a minor in Banging.  I'm not 
too good with basic Fourth Man.  

OK.  There is that Fourth Man in the Pensieve scene, and he is never 
named.  And there's Avery.  And uh, based on astounding and detailed 
canon analysis, an alert list member has proposed that Avery is the 
Fourth Man in the Pensieve scene.  

<deep breath>

Gee, this is hopeless.  Anybody mind if I just cut and paste big 
chunk of stuff by someone who *is* quite an expert on Fourth Man?  
No?  OK, then.  Those on a first-name basis with Fourth Man can skip 
this section and go to the next big line of those little star things:

**************

Elkins wrote (eons ago in Message 36,473):

>I also find the Fourth Man's utter anonymity in the text highly 
>suspicious. Why *does* he go unnamed throughout Book Four? The 
>reader is certainly encouraged to be interested in the Longbottom 
>Affair. We are given (or at least believe ourselves to have been 
>given) the names of the other three defendents. So why should the 
>identity of that Fourth Man remain so strangely hidden from view?

>Could it be because his identity is intended to come as a surprise 
>when it *is* finally revealed to us?

>Could the Fourth Man in fact be a character we have seen...and yet 
>not seen? Is there a character who seems unusually strongly 
>emphasized by the text, and yet has no seeming narrative *function?* 
>A character that we as readers have been actively encouraged to pay 
>attention to and to remember, but who nonetheless seems to have no 
>strong connection to anything else within the story? A character 
>who although he has indeed appeared, has yet remained so utterly 
>lacking in any form of physical description that he really could be 
>just about *anyone?* A character whose face and normal speaking 
>voice have been obscured both from both Harry's view and from our 
>own? 

>Is there a character who has a name, but neither face nor role -- 
>just as the Fourth Man has both a face and a role...but no name?

>The "Fourth Man" theory, outlined in message #35062, proposes that 
>the mysterious Fourth Man in the Pensive scene was actually Avery, 

<snip>

>It further proposes that after his release from Azkaban, Avery 
>shunned Dark activities, severed all connections with his former DE 
>colleagues, and *certainly* made no effort at all to seek out 
>Voldemort. This, claims Fourth Man, is the reason that Avery arrives 
>at the graveyard in such a highly nervous condition, and the reason 
>that he cracks so quickly once Voldemort starts accusing his Death 
>Eaters of ideological infidelity. 

********************

Still with me?  Elkins has come up with four variants of Fourth Man 
(although I was never sure exactly which one she prefers; perhaps she 
is playing the field there):  

No Frills Fourth Man (a venal and villainous coward); 

Fourth Man with Remorse (Avery feels truly repentent about his DE 
past);

Fourth Man With Imperius (Avery really *did* spend much of his time 
as a Death Eater under the Imperius Curse);

Fourth Man With Innocence (Avery was innocent in the Longbottom 
torture entirely and should learn to pick his friends better). 

>From time to time, I have challenged these Fourth Man Variants.  You 
know, kind nibbled at them around the edges.  Like, I proposed "In 
Over His Head Fourth Man," which posits that Avery is basically an 
incompetent DE.  But that variant accepts Elkins' basic Fourth Man 
premise:  that Avery is fundamentally weak and fragile, either having 
remorse, acting under Imperius, or (heaven help us) is innocent.

But now I think the time has come for a full frontal assault on all 
weak-kneed Fourth Man variants.  See, it is certainly possible that 
Avery's collapse in the graveyard is because Avery is a SYCOPHANT 
("The Society for Yes-men, Cowards, Ostriches, Passive-aggressives, 
Hysterics, Abject Neurotics, and Toadying SYCOPHANTS").  Yeah.  
Maybe.  

But that idea isn't very Bangy, though, is it?  I examine these 
SYCOPHANT Avery theories, and all of them belong in a middling soap 
opera.  Lots of crying, hand-wringing and sweating.  Hardly big-
screen stuff.  

I mean, wouldn't it be *better* if Avery were Voldemort's Number 
Two?  You know, the guy who gets to carry Voldemort's wand.  Somebody 
Important.  Then Avery's actions in the graveyard make more sense.  

After all, what happens in the graveyard?  Voldemort professes 
himself "disappointed."  Then:

"One of the men suddenly flung himself forward, breaking the circle.  
Trembling from head to foot, he collapsed at Voldemort's 
feet.  "Master!" he shrieked, "Master, forgive me!  Forgive us all!"
... "Get up, Avery," said Voldemort softly.  "Stand up.  You ask for 
forgiveness?  I do not forgive.  I do not forget.  Thirteen long 
years . . . I want thirteen years repayment before I forgive 
you . . . "

What exactly was Avery doing there?  Collapsing because he is weak 
and guilt-ridden?  

Or could it be that Avery is the head DE?  After all, he doesn't just 
plead his own case.  In the middle of this little display, he 
shrieks "Forgive us all!"  After this, Voldemort takes mercy on 
Wormtail and doesn't torture anyone else.  Why would Voldemort go 
easy on Lucius in particular, when Voldemort knows Lucius and Avery 
handled Voldemort's downfall in the same exact way -- pleading 
Imperius?  So Avery's little self-sacrifice ploy worked, didn't it?  

I think Avery could well be Strong and Tough and Committed.  Willing 
to take one for the team.  Willing to take one good long Cruciatus 
Curse if it will spare his men the same.  Avery isn't a SYCOPHANT at 
all.  He's a Tough guy.  A hero among DEs, in a twisted "working for 
Evil" kind of way.

I think we need a new, non-SYCOPHANT Fourth Man Variant -- Tough Guy 
Fourth Man, based on Avery's successful plea that his fellow DEs 
should receive mercy.  

Oh, I know what you're thinking.  How can we have Tough Guy Fourth 
Man if he is quiet in the Pensieve scene and lets Mrs. Lestrange 
speak for the group?  Why doesn't he say something for himself?  

Well, Tough Guy Fourth Man is also quite smart.  Number Two guys in 
the Evil Overlord organization are *always* smart, aren't they?  He's 
not going to shoot off his mouth in the Pensieve scene.  How does 
that do Voldemort or anyone else any good?  No, Fourth Man is already 
plotting his release from Azkaban on an Imperius defense.  So he 
knows anything he says can and will be used against him.  Tough Guy 
Fourth Man is downright cagey.  Cunning, really.

So, can I have Tough Guy Fourth Man?  Please?  Can I?

Cindy (thinking there ought to be even more Fourth Man variants out 
there)