TBAY: The Order of the Flying Hedgehog: open for business again.

[eloiseherisson at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 48375

Author's note:
The lengthy refurbishment of the Castle, Diana's sojourn at George's and 
Eloise's moonlighting in the archives of HPfGU mean that some of the 
responses in this post are *very* out of date (I started this a long time 
ago) and one or two of the references are to rather ancient threads.


****************************************
Diana shimmered through the throng gathered in the candle lit Great Hall of 
her castle, just conscious of the odour of fresh emulsion paint beneath the 
scents of candle smoke and incense. She nodded to her guests, spoke to one or 
two, exchanged her empty champagne flute for a fresh one from the tray 
carried by a liveried flunky. 

'Eloise!' she shouted above the hubbub. 'Over here! Isn't it *wonderful*?'
'Yes, Diana, it's truly spectacular,' replied Eloise, the merest hint of  
forbearance in her voice, as she took in in the full effect of the huge 
gothic fireplace, the high cornices, the terracotta figures arrayed in 
ornamental niches around the walls. It's amazing how much you achieved whilst 
I was away. But why......' her eyes followed the gaze of Diana's guests, many 
of whom were standing with their necks craned, staring at the ceiling and 
pointing, 'Coats of arms on the ceiling? Whose are they?'
'Everybody in Theory Bay's,' she replied, a gleam of triumph in her eye. 
'Look. They *love* it don't they?'      
'Diana, you can't grant arms, you know.'
'It's my castle and I can if I want to.'

Eloise knew argument was futile. 'Okay. I give in. I take it that's yours in 
the middle?' she said, indicating the largest shield which bore a silver 
crescent moon on a deep blue background spangled with bats. 'What's with the 
bats?'
'I am a *Snapetheory*, you know,' Diana withered.
'Yes but I thought we were agreed that Snape *isn't* a vampire?'
'Of course he's not. It's just, well, imagery in keeping with JKR's original. 
You know, flapping around like an oversized bat and all that. Anyway, I 
*like* bats,' she countered with a final and unarguable logic.

'Well, where's mine then?'
'Yours? Oh, now let me see...I think it's somewhere over there,' she said, 
vaguely indicating the dimmest corner of the ceiling. Eloise searched amongst 
a few of the many images: a sphinx armed with a paddle; a bleeding heart; two 
golden braids, knotted around a censor on a purple ground; a cute little 
moose-like creature draped in bloody feather boas and what looked strangely 
like a cracked wheat salad surmounted by crossed lollipops before finding the 
shield she was looking for: three winged hegehogs on an azure field.
'Very nice, but those are the arms of the Order of the Flying Hedgehog. Where 
are mine?' 
'Same thing, isn't it?' said Diana.
'No, it's not,' retorted Eloise, 'I do have some identity of my own, you 
know,' she started,  but Diana's attention had wandered. She'd seen someone 
new.

'Let me introduce you to Animagi_Raven,' she said. Been waiting for months, 
you know. I think you two might just have something in common.'
Eloise looked curious. 
'Fudge' said Diana.
'Fudge?'
'Yes, Fudge,' said the stranger and continued,

'<> When Sirius was 
captured he probably had a wand.  This is a good bet since he and 
Peter were facing off.  Sirius claims that he was not given a trial 
before being sent to Azkaban.  He was definitely not defending his 
innocence but there was another piece of evidence that could have 
helped him *if there had been a trial* - his wand.  <>Therefore the spell 
would have been on Peter's wand and not on Sirius's wand.  If a person in the 
MoM wanted
Sirius locked away (cough*Fudge*cough) and knew that the wand would 
exonerate him, then there would be no point to a trial.  Is this a 
point for Ever-So-Evil!Fudge as opposed to just Apathetic!Fudge?
<>'

'Ah-ha!' shouted Eloise in glee, dancing on her toes in excitement, before 
donning the deerstalker and cape which she shares with Dicentra and climbing 
onto her personal soapbox. 'A person after my own heart!

'This is indeed part of the foundation of the Cornelius Fudge Is Ever-So Evil 
theory which Dicentra and I developed back in February/March. The thread 
starts with message #35452 (under a completely different title). Dicentra 
gave the theory a wonderful acronym, which I never quite got the hang of, but 
FIE (Fudge Is Evil!) will do. Have a look in Inish Alley (the other acronym 
also begins with F).

'In brief, I argued that Peter's escape had every sign of being planned, but 
also of being a plan that was incredibly likely to go wrong. It was far more 
reliable with the help of an accomplice, especially an accomplice within the 
MOM. Now I think that Fudge was too junior at the time to have any say in 
whether or not there was a trial, but he was one of the first on the scene 
after the 'explosion' and Pettigrew's disappearance. He could have swapped 
Sirius' wand for Pettigrew's, thus producing the 'guilty' wand as evidence. 
The fact that it wasn't Sirius' wand is no impediment: he only needed to 
witness that he had found it in Sirius' possession. There has to be some 
reason why Pettigrew doesn't have a wand, doesn't there? Surely he would have 
taken it with him? (We have evidence that clothes and personal possessions 
transform with an animagus.)

'As you say, Sirius never tries to exonerate himself. I suggest that the 
reason is that he knows that he has been framed and that it is futile.

'So Fudge *is* Ever-So Evil, then?' asked Animagi_Raven.

'Sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing,'

Eloise looked round.

'I'm Draco, by the way.'

Eloise started at the name, but listened politely as Draco continued,

'I just finished reading GOF again and am 
grinning from ear to ear after seeing this discussion.  My general 
impression of Fudge is that he is indeed evil (not necessarily 
cowardly) and mostly likely working for a government whose main 
purpose is to cover up evidence and twist the truth.  Being a one 
time huge X-Phile, I was reminded of the basic plot line in which a 
case would be nearly solved...until evidence/witnesses would be 
destroyed under the pretence of an "accident."  Fudge is not the 
Minister for nothing...he is obviously well versed in official 
procedures, and its highly unlikely that he would dispose of such 
strong evidence (Barty Crouch Jr.) on accident.  
How Fudge got his position and what exactly he has been doing while 
in power is something yet to be discovered, but I'm not expecting 
his methods to be exactly ethical.  
So yeah, I think FIE :-)'

At this point another guest, Debbie, joined in,

'I have believed for a long time that Fudge is Evil. He is portrayed 
as a hapless, half-wit that needs Dumbledore's help everyday 
(remember PS/SS and the owls he send DD?). How did someone like that 
become Minister of Magic? How in the world did Ludo Bagman get into 
the MOM? I think they are in league with each other and are 
supporters of Voldemort. Fudge and Ludo's jobs are to create 
misinformation and confusion in the governing system.

'I must admit Eloise's remark about Fudge being a social comment about 
the government in general held quite a bit of interest for me. I 
could see JK making that her point. But again - I think there is a 
lot more going on than just that. I agree with draco382, we will find 
out more as the story continues...'

'Yes', said Eloise, well I did say that my position isn't really understood. 
Well, to be honest, I suppose I want to have my cake and eat it. Let's see if 
I can explain.

'Well, I think that people were in Voldemort's employ, directly or indirectly 
for many reasons. Fudge doesn't have to *have* been a fully paid up DE 
(although he may have been), but he may have made a foolish mistake, or a 
decision based on short-term self-interest (and we know Voldemort's network 
had contacts within the MOM)  which now (Book 4 and beyond) he needs to cover 
up. He can represent  evil, either through intent, or omission or allowing 
himself to be corrupted and failing to stand up for right or admit to past 
errors. So yes, as far as I'm concerned Fudge and Evil definitely go 
together. I can make out a nice case for his being truly evil (and have done 
so), but even if he isn't or hasn't been wittingly involved in wrong doing, 
then he still represents an institutionalisd evil.

'Now, do you realise that we have an organisation just for people like you?'

Eloise began pulling pieces of parchment and quills and binding magical 
contracts out of the pockets of her robes, but was interrupted by a strange 
white figure wearing a crown, whose clothes were all adrift.

'There'll be an owl soon,' said the stranger.
'How do you know?'
'I remember it distinctly.'
'But how can you if it's not happened yet?'
'It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the woman retorted.
Eloise looked at Diana. 'Who *is* she?'
'Her? Oh, she's the White Queen. She's always dashing in here to tell me 
about something that hasn't happened yet. Haven't you seen the chess set?'
'Chess set?'
'Yes. Didn't I tell you?  I met this chap when I was helping George out down 
at the bar. Big chap he was. Rather off-putting, really, but he offered to 
buy me a drink.....'
'Yes?'
'And I got talking about my plans for the castle and he just mentioned that 
he knew of this chess set that was going spare. No longer needed, he said, 
and I thought it would be ideal for the terrace.......'
'You have a life-sized transfigured chess set on the terrace?'
'Yes! It's wonderful! They get quite... erm, *animated* at times and since 
all the magic round here means I can't get the WWF on the telly....'

'Oh yes,' interrupted the White Queen, 'I remember it very well. The owl will 
bear  messages stating that Ludo Bagman is Ever So Evil. It's a very slow 
owl, by the way. Set out weeks ago'
'Oh. It's for you then,' said Diana in a disappointed tone. 

The exhausted owl duly arrived and placed a pile of parchments in Eloise's 
hand. 
They were messages from PennyR, Laura, Strix, Ashfae and Theresnothingtoit, 
all pointing to Ludo Bagman, if not being a fully paid up DE, possibly even 
the or a faithful servant of the Dark Lord at least being a highly suspicious 
character.
Eloise smiled, as she remembered the days long ago when Evil!Bagman had been 
but a glimmer in Cindy's eye and how she came to found The Order of the 
Flying Hedgehog. Business was picking up again. Time to tidy up her long 
abandoned office and send out new membership forms, she thought.

Her attention was drawn to a kerfuffle on the other side of the room. Cindy 
was being frog-marched from the hall by two playing cards. 

'I warned her about that Paddle,' said Diana, regretfully, 'I told her that 
under the laws which operate here, that counts as carrying an offensive 
weapon, but would she listen? Last week it was Occam and that dratted razor 
of his. I'd better go and see what I can do,' she added more urgently, as a 
cry of 'Off with her head!' went up from the croquet lawn.

'What was that acronym again?' asked Eloise. 'C.H.O.P.? It wasn't *Cindy's* 
Head On a Plate, was it? Now that *would* Bang.'

~Eloise

Who knows that Cindy realises that she doesn't really wish to see her 
decapitated, but would just like to make that clear to everyone else!   

And is aware of omitting several other ESE threads that have come up since 
her last visit to the Castle, notably regarding McGonagall and Cho Chang.


For further explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, 
 visit Hypothetic Alley at
 http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/faq/ 
 and Inish Alley at
 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
 method=reportRows&tbl=13