SHIP: Problems with the concept of G/H

[naamagatus]

No: HPFGUIDX 35140


Just picking on random points that caught me eye.

Heidy said:
> 
> And I thought I'd made it clear in my prior post that I would find 
an 
> engagement at that age to be equally Ewwwwwy. But again, that's 
just 
> MHO. 

And added several paragraphs later:
<snip>
< Ginny needs to grow into 
> herself, and if she ends up in a romance with Harry in Book 5 or 
even 
> in Book 6, she'll never do it. She's too much of a fangirl - even 
you 
> said that to go to the Yule Ball with Harry would be a "dream 
date" - 
> and if she doesn't get a chance to grow up in, IMHO, books five 
*and* 
> six, there's no way that any romance with Harry could have a 
glimmer 
> of realism. But if you want to create a predictive gloat, I'll give 
> you mine: Ginny in Book 7 will bear little resemblance to the 
person 
> you've characterised in your two posts so far today.


You know, I don't quite see the logic of this. Why are you so sure 
that being in love/engaged at a young age precludes development of 
self? It does happen, of course, but I think it happens because the 
attachment to the boyfriend (in this case) functions as an emotional 
compensation - for lack of love at home, lack of self-confidence. I 
know two people who ended up marrying their high-school sweethearts. 
In fact, the guy married a girl who was his friend since the age of 
six (or even before) and they've practically always been together. I 
know both of them and believe me, they are very well developed as 
*individuals.*  I think of Ginny as a healthy person - based on her 
characterization (slim, I know) and my knowledge of her home life. So 
I don't think she is in danger of forming the kind of relationship 
you forsee.
Ginny begins by having a childish crush on Harry. Obviously it 
wouldn't be very unhealthy for her to have a romantic-sexual 
relationship with him based on such a crush. But don't you think the 
crush might change as she grows up? Crushes end with disillusion, but 
they can develop to real love, if the crushee (what's the word?) 
proves, with familiarity, to have substance and worth. Harry has 
substance - he is good, kind, brave, smart and sensitive. Why is it 
so ewwwy that Ginny should grow to truly love him *as she matures*? 
And if they remain compatible as they both grow and change, why 
shouldn't they remain in love to the point when they wish to marry 
each other? 
I think Harry would make a wonderful mate (see qualities above). Yes, 
he is emotionally scarred but he is not emotionally crippled. I think 
that's an important distinction, by the way. To have known pain and 
suffering is not the same as being traumatized by pain to the degree 
that you can't handle emotions, intimacy, etc. And yes, pain and 
suffering can be a bond, a very strong one. I'm not saying it can be 
the sole basis of a lasting romantic relationship but it is a bond. 
The fact that you look into the other person's eyes and see an 
understanding that hardly anybody else can have ... believe me, it 
means a lot. 

> Actually, she threw it into a stall, and it just landed in the 
> toilet. And what a stupid place to throw out a book! It's never 
going 
> to get through the plumbing! What was she thinking? 
> (Possible, theorizing) Answer: She wasn't. She was fulfilling the 
> task Tom had set to her - leave the diary in the room where the 
> entrance was. 

Sorry, but that argument doesn't hold. The book was small and would 
easily have gone through the plumbing. What made the book flush out 
was Myrtle's tantrum at having had the book thrown at her. And Riddle 
could never have predicted that. Which leaves the act as a heroic 
attempt by Ginny to free herself of the diary's bewitchment.


Naama who likes Ginny, so there!